I was recently trying to buy a dress online. You know, it's the spring season and I haven't bought a new dress in over two years (because of the baby, you know? Just refused to buy something while I was that big...TEMPORARILY that big).
Anyway, it's time. I thought I'd shop one of these online spring clearance sales (hard to believe it's spring clearance already!) Now, I know that I'm not the same body I was before I got pregnant. For one thing, I'm still breastfeeding so the girls are quite large still. For another, the abs will never be the same because I had them sliced in half with a C-section. But, frankly, it's because I'm not anorexic.
So, being a completely different body shape, I'm just not sure WHAT is going to look good on me.
As I waded through the 500 variations on color and fabric of the exact same cut of dress (and wondered, god, is this the Summer of Hookers?), I started to ponder...
What size is that manikin that the dress is on?
The picture doesn't say.
The site doesn't say.
And, frankly, "size" doesn't really matter since it's a completely imaginary number modified by every women's garment that's manufactured.
Now, this isn't a tirade about how dumb it was the for army to arbitrarily assign numeric sizes to women's uniforms during WWII...and how that stuck.
Nor is this a tirade about how it's dumb that we, as women, still feel judged by the little printed number in our pants.
This isn't even a tirade about how idiotic it is to have Misses sizes in odd numbers and "Women's" sizes in even numbers (or why it's "Misses" but "Women's"...little bit of a grammar problem there, folks).
No, this is a tirade about not being able to buy a dress online because you just don't know how it's going to fit. It's the main reason why shopping malls still exist, frankly, because they're chock full of clothing stores where you have to go and try on these artificially sized clothes. A size 6 at Target is not a Size 6 at The Gap or a Size 6 at Victoria's Secret.
But, when was the last time you really wanted to shop for underwear at the store? Or you just want to replace your favorite pair of pants that, well, sorry, the style has become obsolete, so that "size 6" is not longer available. Perhaps it's a store, like Victoria Secret, where they don't sell clothes in the store- just underwear. You're only option is to purchase online.
But, wait, they charge you to return those pants if they don't fit.
Wouldn't it be great if you could just use your online avatar to try on those clothes virtually before buying? I'm not talking about the augmented reality stuff where you use a webcam. I'm talking about a computer program/system where the user would plug in their measurements to create a real form for themselves. I don't know why we don't have this already with all the game engine and (heaven forbid) Facebook avatars out there.
So, for you programmers that want to make an easy million, here's how it should work:
1. The user should be able to enter their measurements. If you want to enter skin tone, eye color, hair color, great, but I'm more concerned about the measurements.
2. The user would select the style of clothing they want.
3. The system would read the measurements entered into the computer about that pair of jeans and recommend sizes that would fit the avatar. (though I don't want to see any comments on the screen like, "You'll never fit your ass into those jeans, honey.")
4. The user should be able to see how each of the pairs of jeans would look on their avatar...including those ugly hip bulges if the jeans are too high, or fabric ready to burst if there's not enough fabric to fit your leg in.
5. You'll need to have some sort of stretch and drag coefficients for different types of fabrics.
There you go.
No more jeans returned because the thighs are cut the same diameter as the calves. You'd see it all there ON YOUR BODY.
You can extend it to selecting colors and prints, especially if you entered in your skin tone, eye color, and hair color...and you can even extend the program to include shoes....even shoes on your avatar (do you wear heels or not?)
And, let's not forget, gentlemen, no more ill-fitting lingerie gifts (or carpet sweepers) for Christmas.
Anyway, when you get it up and running, please let me know where it IS running because I want to check it out and buy my dress off website.
I KNOW it will fit when it gets here.
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