When You REALLY Wish You Hadn't Invited....

We have friends that we've been friends with for years.   They live on the other side of the Twin Cities, which is to say they live about 30-45 minutes away...or more (depending on traffic and snow, obviously) .  They live down the street from former coworkers of my husband.  They really like card and board games - "positive win" games like Bohnanza, Dominion, and the like.

Generally, we've really enjoyed their company.  Kind of nerdy, mousy, quiet, smart types.  Glasses.  You know the type.

Anyway, they had a kid first in the group of friends.  A little girl.

And I guess that was the start of everything downhill for our friendship.

To summarize the situation, let's say that we differ greatly in our parenting styles.

My husband would be the first to deny that we live a very strict set of rules and guidelines...but when compared to these "friends", he's the first to want them out of the house and want stop the friendship.

Take for example, my daughter's first birthday party.

1. They didn't RSVP.
2. They show up and smell like they've been working in the yard for an hour.
3. They immediately tell us that their daughter needs a nap and where would we like to put her (uhm, how about in her room at your house.  How rude to show up and demand a napping place for a child!  If she's that tired, DON'T BRING HER.
4. Once she sees all of our daughter's toys, she starts grabbing them off of shelves and even out of our daughter's hands!  Perhaps this is a familial thing, but I was brought up that you don't touch things in other people's houses.  You come in, sit, and have manners.  You don't jump around like a hooligan pulling toys out of the birthday girl's hand or running off with her presents.  Luckily, we had the foresight to remove all non-washable items and hide anything that was special before this brat showed up.
5. When you're in a house and there's a closed door, you:
1. Leave it closed
2. Open it and peek
3. Open it and then go and play with the toys in that room.  I think you know that there's only one right answer. 

Now, in all of this, I blame the parents.  The kid is pretty much carte blanc- they behave how they're raised...for the most part.  So, the several times that thing brat is jumping up and down on my yoga ball or running around stealing toys...where were the parents!?

Yeah, it was up to me, the host and mother of the BIRTHDAY GIRL to say something.

Now, my mother was quite wise.  Whenever we went anywhere as children, we had our little traveling toy box- something to keep us occupied while the adults visited.  Heck, I still bring my knitting or cross stitch to parties in case of boredom.   Anyway, I've noticed that good, attentive parents do this.  

Want to guess how many toys this child had with her?  

Yeah, none.

All I can say is that the rudeness and the invasion of privacy- to go into my closed master bedroom and play in there WITH HER MOTHER- well, they won't be attending any more events at the Irish house.  

It just made me so sad that I had to give my daughter that experience for her first birthday.