Can You Tell If She's Breathing?

Why don't child monitor's have pulse-ox functions?

I mean, this is pretty basic nowadays.  Even without taping the reader to a finger or a toe, the machine could measure the CO2 output in the room to let you know that your child is sleeping...and alive.  

Or it could just count the number of respirations as your child's chest moves up and down.

These are not new functionalities.  They've just never been properly applied to home-safety.

Instead, the current "recommendations" are stupid things like the advice I got from the doctor when my daughter was ill:

"You should check on your child every 2 hours to make sure that they're not having trouble breathing"

Uhm....

2 HOURS!?!?  

The brain only lasts 4 minutes without respiration providing oxygen.  Wouldn't it be better if we just had the breathing monitored by our child monitor?  A little alarm goes off if the CO2 levels increase too much..or don't decrease fast enough...or that it can't count your child's respirations?

I mean, seriously!  People who make baby products- where are your heads!?  You'd rather provide the ability to download pictures from the baby cam than something useful like knowing that your child is breathing.

Eating at "Children Friendly" Places

I recently went out to eat at a "Family" Restaurant.

You know the kind- it's usually a sticky-tabled, sticky floor, greasy spoon with lots of noisy children running out of control in between the tables and color crayons on every table.  It's wasn't my choice, really, but the grandparents wanted to go, so we went.

Now, they have a "children's menu" which was composed of macaroni and cheese, breaded meat by-part nuggets, canned fruit cocktail, and a ton of french fries as the "vegetable".  I honestly think that there is just one kid's meal on the planet and every restaurant orders the box of pre-fab kid's meal parts and sticks it on the menu.

But, I digress.

Now, our daughter is just learning to eat with utensils and non-mashed solids.  But you'd think that a restaurant that caters to "families" as much as having a bunch of crayons on the table and booster seats would have the following:

• Bibs (you know, like those disposable bibs at lobster places!?)
• Children-sized flatware (perhaps that would not be so sharp as the adult versions?)
• The food would have the option of being cut for LITTLE kids.  
• Wet wipes at the table.  (let's face it- kids are messy eaters)

As it was, the restaurant supplied none of these items.  Even the fruit cocktail, which is pre-cut anyway, came is 1" size, choke-able-chunks.

And, of course, there were other forms of entertainment for children, too:  Gameboys, hosting such age-appropriate games as Grand Theft Auto.

Now, you can call me old fashioned, but isn't it slighly unethical to provide games that are not age-appropriate?  Aren't you promoting poor judgement by parents and children alike?

I just don't know what the world is coming to, but I'm afraid of what the streets will be like when the children of today grow up because we can't give them a clear message about what is ok to eat, what is ok to play, and how it is ok to behave.

Potties, Potties, Everywhere

You know, I've peed in a lot of potties in my life and I never really thought about how difficult it must be for a parent who is potty training their children to find a public toilet that is the right size for the kids butt.

I've thought about how difficult it would be to a child of the opposite sex...and the obvious questions that would arise about the external plumbing.

I've thought about the germ factor of public toilets... and trying to dangle your kid over a dirty potty.

But I never really thought about how a tiny little kid may not be able to appropriately span the width, much less the length of an adult-sized toilet.

That is, until I had a kid that was potty training.

Now, I understand that most of the world is adults, so most of the toilets in the world are going to be adult-sized toilets.

But you really would expect that places geared towards children would have some sort of adapter or child-sized toilet.

You know, like McDonald's.  I don't eat there, but I know a LOT of kids go there...no child-sized toilet.

Or the play area at the mall.  You'd expect that the toilets near that play area would have at least one child-sized stall, right?  Or perhaps one in the "family" bathroom?  It would make sense there wouldn't it?

Or Disneyland... (hate to admit that they've failed on that one, but in all the years of marking my territory there, I never saw a child-sized toilet)

But the one place that I was MOST, well, irate about not having a child-sized toilet...was the Children's Hospital.

Now, this is a hospital ONLY for children.

ONLY children.

And while I understand that it would be too limiting to have some rooms with the child-sized toilets (like in preschool) vs. the adult-sized toilets, you'd pretty much expect that they would have an adapter that they could put on the toilet seat to allow your child to piss in peace.

But no.

They don't even have child-sized commodes...

During our recent stay at the hospital, we had to bring our own from HOME....only to find out that the adapter ring for that training potty doesn't fit the oblong, industrial-type public toilets.

What shocked me so much was that when we asked for the trainer or tot-pot, the nursing staff looked at us like we were speaking a different language.

"A what?  You want a training toilet for your kid?  Here?"

Yes, here.  People do pee (and more) in the hospital.

o_O

So, I guess my month of finding stupid things that people do is just beginning again.


BTW, I did find a solution that didn't involve me hugging the back of the toilet while my daughter sat upon it.  It turns out that our tot-pot could have the bowl removed, but otherwise be intact.  We put the whole thing up on the toilet seat and it was very sturdy because of the rubber feet.  The only thing our daughter needed was a crown.

Alcohol And Breastmilk

So, you may remember me talking about how the Medela Breast Pump vacuum lines- how Medela says that milk will NEVER get into the tubes...but they provide instructions on their sterilization bags on how to clean them- should it ever happen.

Right....

Well, evidently, they have had so many people call and complain about the lines getting hard after the sterilization bags that they have changed their recommended cleaning method.

Now they say to pour alcohol into the pump lines to clean them...instead of steam cleaning them.

So far, my lines have remained flexible with this treatment...though, I have to say, they didn't actually specify to use RUBBING alcohol...

Crossword Misinformation

I like doing crossword puzzles.

I know that it's completely a pat on my own back to fill it out and say "I know that answers".

It's not like I'm into the NY Times Crossword or anything- just the local one.

But that may be the cause of the problem I recently encountered.

My daughter's recent cold (as my husband put it "fire the double-barreled snot gun) reminded me of a recent crossword puzzle clue of "Nasal Membranes".

Now, being an anatomy professor, I felt I could easily answer this question.

However, there were only 5 letters in this answer.

As I looked at the crossing answers, I saw a "p" in the middle...

...and it made me very mad.

I realized that the FREAKIN MORON who wrote the crossword puzzle felt that "septa" were nasal membranes.

This is completely WRONG.

Ever hear of a deviated septum?  (septum singular, septa plural)  A septum is a bony wall that makes an alcove.  So, like the BIG septum that separates your nostrils.  When this is not straight all the way back, it's called a "deviated septum".

Notice, membranes were not mentioned in this definition.

That is because a biological membrane is a single layer of cells.

It is not a bony protrusion.

I really made me wonder how many other incorrect answers in crosswords serve as educational material for the masses.

After all, you wouldn't know it's wrong until you know it's wrong.

Amazon Mom Fine Print

Here's something you really need to know about Amazon Mom:

They changed their rules.

When I first joined Amazon Mom, it was free two-day shipping and some discounts on baby things.

When it ended, it ended.

Now, however, they have a fine print line item that says that they will secretly, automatically switch you from a free service to a $79/year service with NO FURTHER NOTICE.

You won't even get a receipt.

What you will find is that Amazon has charged you this exorbitant amount for deliveries like this:

And this

And this.

So, I guess my advice is:  DON'T sign up for it.

It just hasn't been work the headache for me.

When Scheduling Meetings Across Time Zones

This is a big deal to me.

It's just good customer service.

When you have a client that is in Time Zone A and you are in Time Zone B, then you need to talk about meeting times and project times relative to Time Zone A.  

In other words, don't be a jackass and make your customer do math in their heads.  Most of the time, they will do the math wrong, anyway, and your meeting time will be screwed up.

Likewise, if you have clients in multiple time zones, you need to use the time zone of the headquarters.  So, if the headquarters is in San Francisco, for example, you need to refer to all project times according to Pacific Time.  Your client will be used to having to do the math relative to their headquarters. 

It's amazing what a difference it makes to your customers.

Follow Up Delivery From Amazon

Sorry, I just have to share this fantastic replacement delivery from Amazon.

I swear, I have been an Amazon customer since it's birth in the 90s and this trend of reckless fulfillment is turning me off purchasing from them.

Another Great Delivery From Amazon

I think the picture says it all.

Highlights Upgrade

So, I recently started a Highlights High 5 subscription for my daughter.

She loves it.

They have an orange cat in EVERY issue.

And the stories are short, and mostly good (though I have a beef to pick about the freakin' Spanish serial in it- or rather an ENHANCEMENT.  Why not leave the lines blank and let the parents fill it in with the language of THEIR CHOICE!?!  Americans almost spoke German, YOU KNOW!  LOST BY ONE VOTE IN THE CONTINENTAL CONGRESS!)

Ok, so, for the most part, Highlights High 5 is a good magazine.

But this last issue, they have a little book to tear out and assemble entitled "The Place for Cat".

It's, naturally, starring an orange cat.

You'd think it would be a cut little story about a cat and a kid.

But it's not.

Here's the original dialog:

The Place for Cat 

(notice incorrect capitalization in the title)

No, cat, don't do that!

That's not the place for you!

No, cat, don't do that!

That's not the place for you!

No, cat, don't do that!

That's not the place for you!

No, cat, don't do that!

That's not the place for you!

'Come here, cat.

Sit on my lap.

That's the place for you!

Now, besides the SEVERAL grammatical errors in this "story", I have to really complain about the content.  If I were a cat, I certainly wouldn't be wanting to cuddle up with someone who is always yelling "No" at me.

What kind of messed up message is that!?

Here's my suggested rewrite.

Yes, scribble out the original story and put this in it's place (notice, this grammar is correct).

The Place For Cat 

My cat likes to play with this and that.

Then, I hug him and put him back on the mat.

My cat likes to stretch his paws on the chair.

So instead, I pick him up like a teddy bear.

My cat likes to chew my tasty shoes.

And play hide and seek- I see you!

My cat likes to help me put things away.

Then, he gets a toy with which to play.

But the thing I like best about my cat,

Is that he fits right in my lap.

Much more positive message, don't you think?

Obviously, the original was written by a cat hater.

Tetris

Analysts are like Tetris players:

They're really good at juggling the blocks at slow speeds- heck, we could probably go on at that pace forever...no matter how much crap we start with on the project.






But as soon as the blocks speed up, we start making mistakes...and eventually, those mistakes are unrecoverable.



And those always happen during the most stressful point in the game.

...and they pile up quickly.

Project Overload

People are not machines.

They do not change gears by typing in a command and start computing another solution on a dime.

This is another fallacy of poor project management:  if you have 40 hours a week, you could handle at least 40 projects.

This seems to be a VERY common shortcoming of poor project management.

Let me be one of the first to proclaim loudly:

HUMANS CAN'T HANDLE MORE THAN 3 PROJECTS AT ANY ONE TIME.

Sorry, but it's a failing of biology and psychology.  We have other problems our brains worry about on a daily and hourly basis- we just cannot be successful with that many projects in a 40 hour work week.  It takes longer than an instant to regain our though processes and continue analysis.  Because, news flash, analysis IS NOT a logical process.  It's a CREATIVE process, which means that you can't time box it very well.  You can put deadlines on it, and when you do you're going to get crappy, shoot-from-the-hip analysis.

In other words, incomplete thinking.

So, what is the solution?

Well, apparently, the solution that employers have come up with is that you're expected to work a 60-70 hour work week.  And if you don't, you get fired for insubordination....which means that you will end up going to another company that treats people the same way and the cycle continues.

What we need is this:  white-collar/computer slaves need to band together and get some real unions going.

THIS is the only way that we will overcome this white-collar slavery because companies aren't going to change unless they CAN'T get what they want.

And the only want to overcome companies is by ganging up against them.

Until we do, be prepared to continue to work through every evening, weekend, vacation, and holiday.  Because in America, they just don't exist any more.

Mythical Man Month

This is continuing to be a problem where I work:

The Mythical Man Month.

If you haven't heard the term, it's the idea that throwing more people at a problem, they will reach the resolution faster.

Stating it like this, just makes it obviously wrong, doesn't it?

Usually, it's a symptom of poor planning for business projects:  throwing more people at a development project, for example, will allow the project to be completed on time.

Usually, the additional man power is added at the end...usually because the project is running late.

Now, what amazes me, is that despite how common this conundrum of the Mythical Man Month is, bosses are STILL COMMITTING THE SAME FALLACIOUS THINKING!

Guess what?!  You're NOT smarter than anyone else.

YOU will NOT overcome the fallacy of the Mythical Man Month.

No one can.

PLEASE, stop being stupid.  Your team is suffering because you're a freakin' moron!

You know that the only way to solve your project timeline problems is to make realistic timelines.

Freakin' morons!

Best Stain Remover

It's salt.

Yup, regular old salt.

Salt is nice because it's not toxic and it's cheap.

Now, salt won't work if you have a very old, dried in stain, nor would I try salt on anything silk or that isn't colorfast....or probably furniture, carpeting...things that can't get a REAL washing or you'll be spreading salt around everywhere.

But if you have a child who's constantly getting stains on their clothes- especially blood stains- then I recommend salt.

1. Rinse out the area with water the best you can.
2. Pour enough salt on the stain so that you can visibly see the salt.
3. Wait.

Now, salt does take some time, but if you leave it say, overnight, then the stain will be completely gone.

In fact, I found a whole site talking about how to get your laundry cleaner using salt.

There seems to be some contention about exactly how salt works to lift stains.

Some say it's because it works by drawing the moisture from the stain by osmosis (water moving from areas of low solute to high solute).

Others say that it's because it works like a soap:  breaking down the surface tension of the water and allowing water to enter a stain and dilute it...on the atomic level.

I'm not sure which it is, but I would recommend one last tip if you're going to use salt:

Make sure the salt that you use doesn't have sugar in it.  Or you'll be attracting every ant and bug in the house.

Easy Gluten Free Almond Muffins

Here's a little almond muffin/scone recipe that I created.  It's more of a scone recipe because of the cream of tartar, instead of baking powder or soda.

And despite how good they are, they still suffer from the shortcoming of gluten-free items on the second or third day...DEFINITELY better fresh, so don't make in large quantities.

THIS IS REALLY GLUTEN-FREE.  No weird grains.

1 box Glutino scone/muffin mix
1 can sweetened condensed milk
3 eggs (or egg equivalent)
6 T margarine (use one with a low water content like Imperil), softened
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp almond extract
1/2 C ground almonds
3 tsp cream of tartar
1/2 C sliced almonds

Use an electric mixer

Preheat oven to 350*F

1. Beat the eggs on high until fluffy.
2. Add the sweetened condensed milk and continue to beat.
3. Add the margarine and continue to beat
4. Add the scone mix slowly and continue to beat on low
5. Add the ground almonds slowly and continue to beat on low.
6. Add the extracts and continue to beat on low.
7. Add the slice almonds and continue to beat on low.

Pour batter into 12 large silicone muffin cups*

Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until slightly brown on top.

Allow to cool before removing from the muffin cup.  This is not just for safety- removing the muffin too early will release the steam in the cup and dry out your muffin.


This recipe is for the large muffin cups (about 1/2 C size).  If using the regular size muffin cups, decreasing baking time.

About The Data Wants Your Data

I heard about this site from the local newspaper:  About The Data.

I presents itself like a personal information aggregation site that has been gathering information about you for years.

So, I did some digging and here's what I found:

The site, itself, just went live in August, 2013.

Not exactly a "long lived" information gathering site.

When I tried searching for myself, I get presented with a very scary page:

This page asks for some rather secure information- just to search for yourself.

Now, if you remember from my previous posts: all of the other information sites that unethically collect your information, you are able to search for yourself without divulging any information what so ever.

So, I was very skeptical and I clicked on the Terms of Use link. 

The Terms of Use (dated in September 2013) have several statements about how you have no rights to the information  you disclose on the site and that it will be used to market to you and sold to Acxiom's sister and client companies.

This sounded all too fishy, particularly with the reports in the newspaper where the author said the information Acxiom had on him was completely wrong.

So, my analysis of this site:  LEAVE IT ALONE.  

IT IS A FISHING SITE.  DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION TO THEM.

Time To Move

You know it's time to move when your garden objects start being "translocated" to your neighbor's yard.

The Meaning of A Key

I went out to get my mail today and the mail was late.  As soon as I got back to my front door, the mail truck pulls up to the aggregation of mailboxes.

As frustrating as that is, I was waiting a high priority delivery, so I ran back out to get the mail.

When I got out there, the mail carrier informed me that she was just starting.  I told her that was fine, figuring that my box is near the top and I doubted that they would move from bottom to top, so...a minute or so and I would be good to go.

Well, not so much.

As I stood there, I saw my mail, clearly, enter my mailbox.

I politely asked her if I could get the contents of box ABC.

Now, all of the boxes in the aggregate (that's the little grouping of boxes) are locked.

With a key.

A key that only the residents and the post office have access to.

It's illegal to copy said key.

It's just MY key.

The key is required to get into the mailbox.

So, when I went out to get the mail, I naturally had my key with me.

What do you think happened when I asked for the contents of box ABC?

Do you think the mail carrier said, "Do you have your key?"

No.

She said, "No, because I'd have to ask for ID."

Uhm.... WHAT!?!

The KEY IS THE ID!  It doesn't matter who has the key- if they have the key, they have access to that mailbox.

So, instead of just handing me the mail, or even asking me to open the little mailbox door that would prove it's my mailbox, the bitch just sat there and continued to sort through junk mail and made me wait until all 20 boxes were complete.

I guess what they say about postal workers is true...they really are the bottom of the IQ scale.

Canned Veg

This week, Cub, one of the local supermarkets, has this coupon

Now, I know that it's a bit pixelated, but let's read the details, shall we?

What is on sale?

To me, it seems that any Butter Kernel Vegetables of can size 14.5 oz to 15.25 oz EXCEPT the peas is covered by the coupon.

It seems to me, that select varieties of S&W Beans of can size 15 to 15.5 oz are also covered by this coupon.

Now, when I tried to use this coupon, I was told that only select varieties of the vegetables are on sale.

That just isn't what is written here.

It says any canned veg except the peas are covered by the coupon.

Unfortunately, Cub is going to con a lot of people out of this sale because they have not included all of the vegetable barcodes under this coupon, and unless you're watching, you're going to pay full price.  If you bought 12, like is indicated here on the coupon, you will be losing $6- just because Cub is either dishonest, or didn't hire a marketing person who understands and can write English.

So, if you haven't gone yet, this is your opportunity to give your local store a grammar lesson.

...(and get the high-end canned veg for $0.49/can)

Americans Work Too Hard

No, really.

This is, of course, coming from someone that has now worked 60+ hours a week for more than 8 weeks.

And this graph shows, I think, an adequate representation of how motivated I am to work at all now.


(That would be me, in the pink now)

Or this one



What is really sad to see is this trend, though, showing that Americans are now working exponentially harder every year with no change in our buying power (in other words, we work harder just to keep what we have).


And we are working far harder than anyone else in the industrialized world...



And despite of all this, people still think America is a great place to live.

Let me tell you:  you're _going_ to work for it.

HARD

For the rest of your life.

With diminishing returns on your time investment.

Or perhaps Americans are just dumb.

I think they definitely are for putting up with unreasonable demands from employers that require you to work nights and weekends- sleeping on a cot in the office- just to meet an artificial deadline that NO ONE will care about in 3 months, much less 5 years.

Happy Wednesday.

When Buying Greeting Cards...

What is it about buying greeting cards that makes the cashier want to read them instead of ringing them?

It's something I've notice is particularly egregious at Targets.

You put your cards on the conveyor belt and the cashier reads each one of them.

At one point it was so bad that the cashier actually started commenting to me about my choice in greeting cards and how old was my <family member>, yadda yadda yadda.

Now, I know, I know.  Some of it is just plain old human nature.  We can't HELP but look at pictures- it's the whole concept of billboards.

So, what recommend is this:

Please, please, please:  TURN YOUR CARDS UPSIDE DOWN when checking out.

Barcodes are lot less interesting than personified cats.

Goodbye Gallon

I don't buy a lot of ice cream.

Let's face it:  not only is it expensive in price, but it's expensive on the hips.

But I have fond memories of enjoying it in as a kid.

And I have a fond memory of my dad telling me about he used to come home from working the swing shift and would split a gallon of ice cream with his dad.

A gallon.

Well, you can imagine my shock, then, when I went to go and buy some ice cream this weekend and found out:

There is no such thing as a gallon of ice cream anymore.

NO BRAND HAS A GALLON CONTAINER!

Breyers/Dreyers is down to 1.5 quarts.  (on sale for $7/container)

Blue Bunny:  1.5 quarts. (on sale for $6/container)

Kemps:  1.5 quarts. (on sale for $5/container)

Even the horrible local Wisconsin brand that we bought to try because it was less than the Blue Bunny (which is pretty cheap...and tastes it too) is only 1.5 quarts. (on sale for $5/container)

It just sickens me.  Do they really think that they're fooling people?

Perhaps they are.

I guess it doesn't really matter because if all companies are charging almost $10/gallon of ice cream, people will buy it because they don't have a choice.

Still, it seems that $10/gallon is a bit expensive for a gallon of grocery store ice cream.

Not that you can guy the whole gallon, anyway.

The Penalty for Sex is Death

When I was an undergrad an my psychology teacher brought this up, I thought it was oh, so novel and thought provoking.

Now, however, I realize how selfish and Christian this statement actually is.

Why?

It is true, when you think about the ANIMAL kingdom that all sexually reproducing animal or microorganism has a set lifespan and dies at which point its progeny take over.

In other words, with asexual reproduction (like binary fission) in amoeba, it is fair to say that all amoeba are essentially the same amoeba that has been dividing and dividing and dividing....

But all of that is a short-sighted view of the world.

What about the TREES!?!

They sexually reproduce, and about as often as most wild animals- a fact that most of us with "seasonal allergies" are reminded of as we suck down lungfuls of tree and plant sperm.

Trees don't have a set lifespan.

They would live forever and they keep going on year after year- essentially immortal- until humans cut them down or poison them.

(yes, I know that there are other reasons that trees die, but even the overabundance of borer weevils is a result of humans killing off the natural predator of the weevil.  So, there)

So, I guess ambulation carries the real death penalty... I don't know of anything that walks that lives forever.

A Decade Of Cat Vomit

I've lived in my current house for about a decade now.   So, as I picked the rejected cat chow out of the carpet piles this morning, I thought about how many times I've cleaned the vomit out of the carpet.

And while I'm thinking about how much I want to replacing the carpeting, my biggest concern is pretty much summarized in this:

Glass Slippers

My daughter and I went shoe shopping for the next size for my daughter's ever growing foot.  After having to purchase and repurchase several sizes of shoes in the last two years, I think I finally understand why my mother insisted on the cheap shoes for me while growing up....

...and now that I'm buying them even at $10 for 100 uses...

...well, it just is such a rip off.

Anyway, I'm at Target, trying to find some reasonably priced shoes (and quite shocked that the lowest priced shoes at $15 compared to the $5-$8 at Walmart) and I come across some really cheaply made shoes- poor support- no padding- no arch support...

..and I'm thinking of going to Walmart when I came across a series of miniature high-heeled shoes.

I kid you not:  these are toddler shoes.

TODDLER.

Like, as in those who TODDLE.

Toddlers

What kind of sicko creates high-heeled shoes for someone who can barely walk?

What kind of lousy parent BUYS these for their little girl?

Children are not dolls, people.  Putting heeled doll shoes on these little feet WILL LEAD TO THE FOLLOWING PROBLEMS:

1. Lordosis (overcurvature of the back)
2. Hip problems.
3. Plantar fasciitis (strained tendons of the foot)

and let's not forget ramming your toes into high-heeled shoes
1. has been shown to result in bunions and dislocated toes.
2. is more likely to result in a serious sprain of the ankle possibly requiring surgery.

So, how "cute" does your daughter look in a cast?  Because your poor parenting is going to put her in one.

The Art of Pointless

aka:  Pedantic:

Doing something just to go through the motions.

In other words, the last 10 hours at my job.

Some days, you just manage to stave off entropy...and nothing else.

Disgusting Level Of Persistence

Months ago, I wrote about the HARP scam from CitiMortgage.

I wrote about how, after 15 minutes on the phone with the representative, they found that I was not eligible for this program because I had gotten married and changed my last name- a pitiful excuse for declining a mortgage application- Sorry, you're more stable now, but you're not qualified for a new mortgage because you changed your last name.

Let me ask you:  how likely is it that your last name would change if YOU got married.

I'm just guessing, but I'm guessing that the probability is about 60-80% of American women change their last names when they get married.

Oh, wait, I guess I am right.

Now, my point today is that this HARP scam from CitiMortgage arrives in a FedEx letter package.

Quite Expensive.

For someone that is not qualified, CitiMortgage has decided to continue to make this offer to me NINE (9) TIMES SINCE I WAS DECLINED.

My advice to others:

This is still a scam.  You will not be qualified.  They will keep asking you questions until they find a reason to make you ineligible.

Pretty window dressings only cover up the huge amount of money they're hoping to con you out of by re-upping your mortgage with them....

...but not at the rates that they advertise.

Age of Reason

Some children started school today.

My daughter did not.

Why?

Because, even though she can color in the lines and knows half the alphabet and how to play half of "Sing a Song of Six Pence" on the piano, the local school system says that she's too young to start preschool.

PRESCHOOL.

For crying out loud!

Preschool!  Talk about restraining the education and ability to excel by instigating artificial school levels. Let's review the basics:

No one learns everything at the same rate.  The only way to ensure that people get the education that they are ready for is to remove the artificial institution of "grade levels" and "grades".

What is a person good at?  What are they needing training in?

These are the questions we should  be asking ourselves about students.  Despite their age, we should address the individual needs of a student- put them in a class that is appropriate for their skill level.

But not a single skill level for all subjects.  We need to ASSESS skills.  This is how the human race will advance and evolve, not by handicapping those that need more time in a subject OR those that need a more advanced version of the subject. A person gifted in math studies linear algebra in high school may become the next Stephen Hawking; a person with great social skills could become the next Indra Gandhi or Mother Teresa; a person gifted in music may become the next Andrew Lloyd Webber.  What we need is a college-type educational system with a la carte classes - no "levels" attached.

Get rid of grades.  One thing I've learned the hard way:  grades mean NOTHING.  COLLABORATION is the MOST IMPORTANT SKILL YOU WILL EVER LEARN.  But how school systems instigate this now is by taking an A student, a B student, a C student, a D student, and an F student and throw them together in a "team".

What the F@$ to you think happens here?

The A student fights with the B student for control.
The C and D students just visit.
The F student never shows up.

This is NOT collaboration.  This is a farce.

People want to work with people of their same level.  They don't want to work with people that they feel are so far above them that they feel stupid.  They don't want to work with people below them because it's an insult.  The only way to make collaborative education work is make it work with people of the same skill levels.  Challenge students at the level that they can achieve.

Remove the ashamed feelings from students that can't keep up.

Remove the superiority complex that students that can without trying get.

Everyone keeps striving.

We need to separate the idea of sequential education from aging.   Learning is NEVER sequential.  It is always a spiral or understanding with returning often to the basics.

But the system won't change until we have schools that are interested in educating students instead of babysitting them.

The system won't change because it's control.

It's easy.

Currently, teachers are required to have a teaching credential for K through 12.

Kind of a big range, there, isn't it?

It doesn't tell you anything about the educational needs of a 10 year old.  Do they even get a chance to know?

Teachers need to be specialists in their field:  reading, writing, science, etc. But the system allows too many teachers have more desire to babysit youths than to educate them.  Let's face it.  We all understand the stereotype of an "elementary school teacher".  Lots of love, light on brains, big on hugs.  If we removed the grade levels, there wouldn't be an "elementary school teacher" anymore.  We'd have a "science teacher", a "social skills teacher", "a math teacher"...isn't it amazing how the stereotype in your mind changes just with the recategorizing the education?  We expect a nerdy, quiet math whiz to teach a math class....in other words, an expert.  Isn't that who you really want teaching your child?

When you think about your child's education, would you rather they be taught by the expert in that subject or by the lots of love, light on brains type?

Do you enjoy having your child dread their report card because it's got some arbitrary letter assigned to it?  Or would you rather that they get to excel at their own pace in all subjects?  

This is why home schooling works.  You advance at your own pace.  You get help where you need it.  you get challenged where you can.

At the beginning of this, I thought that the education-by-age was stupid.  After thinking it through, I think it's worse than stupid- it's a disgrace in an "advanced" society.

Ps Make Poo

When my daughter was in the hospital, the doctor told us that we had to get her to eat foods with "p" names to get her to poo.

You know, pears, peas, peaches...

Well, I found another one:  pumpkin.





...and

I don't know if "processed apples" are technically a "p", but they are also poo producers....

One L OR Two?

When I was in grade school, I learned the "Queen's English".

In other words, "proper" English.

What I have found in growing up and moving around the country is that Americans have not been taught proper English, and that popular media.  Simple things like the proper use of a comma, where to put punctuation when quotes are involved, when to use "which" vs. "that", when to use "whom" vs, "who" (though German helped reinforce that one)...

...but also when to double a letter when adding "ed".

This was always kind of hokey rule:  Add "ed" to a verb to make it past tense, EXCEPT if it already has an "e"...then you just add "d". Oh, and if you have a consonant before the "ed", you're supposed to double that consonant before adding "ed".

But the last one is only true some of the times.   And those times are different between American English and British English.

Examples are words like "cancelled" and "travelled" and "unravelled".

I learned these with two "l"s.

Americans spell these with one "l".

Both are considered correct spelling.

But it sure makes for interesting web development to have them spelled 1/2 one way and 1/2 the other.