"What are you doing New Year's Eve?"

Now,

I understand.

There is some level of common courtesy that requires acquaintances to ask everyone they see, "What are you doing New Year's Eve?"

Back in the day, I would have found myself attempting to dance until bar close.

Now that I have a two year-old, however, I find the question a little, well, self-evident.

We're parents of a two year-old.

We do the same thing EVERY night or risk the wrath of not following THE SCHEDULE.

Those of you who have children KNOW what I mean.

You FOLLOW THE SCHEDULE OR ELSE.

Besides, with the cost of a babysitter on a holiday, who could afford to do anything but the routine?    And let us not forget that once the date night is over, you are still responsible for coming home and taking care of said child all night and day.

So, what are we doing New Year's Eve?

The same thing we do every night, pinky, try to get the daughter to sleep.  (and a few books)

Happy New Year

The Day I Made My Daughter Cry

Yup.

I see it coming in the near future.

It's approaching at a rapid pace.

And there's nothing I can do to stop it.

Why?

Because her FAVORITE, FAVORITE, FAVORITE book right now is The Twelve Days of Christmas.

It's actually been a rather serendipitous find for a toddler who is learning their numbers and how to read.

It's repetitious.  (oh how we all know)

It's a song (which is rather virally contagious).

It has both ordinal and cardinal numbers (e.g. first versus "1").

AND, it the illustrations demonstrate the concept of numbers and counting because you get more and more stuff each day.

Rather ingenious little book, I must say.  And according to Peter, Paul, and Mary, it fits two out of the three characteristics of a good children's song...including lulling the child into a false sense of security.

ha ha ha.

And Wednesday, my daughter must say goodbye to the book that she has made every adult read to her at least 4 times every day since Thanksgiving.

Not that she's following in her OCD mother's footsteps, or anything.

Some of us are conflictedly excited about this moment.

But we know she's got another two waiting to take this one's place.

Viva la Cinderella.

Wallpapering

So, you remember that old Three Stooges skit with the wallpaper sticking to everything?

I've never found that to be true of wallpaper.

AND I've always hated the Three Stooges.

I know, so unAmerican.

 Now, granted, I use the prepasted stuff- ON PURPOSE.  Honestly, why would you want to do that step yourself!?

In the last month, I've had the opportunity to hang wallpaper, install linoleum, paint and primer (Prime-R!) every room in the house, and now caulk the kitchen and baths.

But of all the mess goo in these projects, it is HANDS DOWN FAR WORSE to have to caulk something than do ANYTHING else.

By design, the stuff it made to keep out water and not break down with soap.  So, when you get it on YOU or the floor or the wall, or where it's NOT supposed to be, it's IMPOSSIBLE to get off.  You just end up redistributing and smearing it into finer and finer circles.

Fun, huh?

So, I found out the hard way that the "wet your finger and push it down" method isn't going to work.  It just gets is ALL OVER you.

What I DID find is this:

Wet a paper towel (like a good one- not a napkin or toilet paper because these paper products are made to breakdown easily.  You need a Bounty-type towel here).

So, wet the paper towel and push it into the hole.  The dry towel will attract and collect the extra stick goop while the wet part keeps a clean edge.

Really worked well, I have to say.

The other thing I learned is that YOU DO NOT use soap and water to get it off your own hands.  Just immediately go to a dry paper towel and start abrading the top layer of your skin.

After doing two bathtubs, two showers, a toilet (man was that tricky), the kitchen counter, and a pedestal sink, I finally got the hang of it...

...just in time to not do it again for another 5-10 years.

BBC

So, I've been having the worst time finding something to watch on television OR the movies that is created in Hollywood.

I mean, really.

The ONLY thing in the past 8 months that has been worth seeing is Saving Mr. Banks.  American movies can be placed in the following categories, each with a prefab, formulated plot:

1. Sappy Romance
2. Star Crossed Romance
3. "Edgy" Independent (which generally is code for celebrating sex, drugs, and poor life choices)
4. Frat/Slapstick Comedy
5. War and Fighting
6. (And let's not forget) "Science Fiction" which is really now synonymous with disaster and horror.

Occasionally, you'll see a foreign film picked up by the major theaters and shown, but then it's usually some art film that is so esoteric that it's difficult to find the plot line.

There's pretty much nothing else out there.

And what's worse:  all of the Hollywood stars seem to be scuzzing down a bit.  There's no style.  There's no panache.  There's only 3-day old beards and crass behavior.

The best that TV has to offer fits into similar categories...though the Romance is combined into what we call "drama", with plots featuring convoluted family relationships, lots of quick facial close-ups, and thematic music (duh, duh, duh... Don't believe me?  Try READING the summaries of some of the episodes of Once Upon a Time- which WAS a good TV show until it went past one season).

In fact, I've started watching more BBC programs that anything else, which I find ironic because the Brits are known for REALLY bad TV and horribly understated acting.  (Ever seen/heard Eddie Izzard's skit on British Films?  He likens the climax to arranging matches).

Anyhoo, I don't know what has gone right suddenly with the BBC, but they have some kick-ass programming now:

1. Timmy Time (gotta love Aardman animation)
2. Downton Abbey (if you haven't seen it, I don't know where you've been.  Target even has a spoof book called Mouseton Abbey)
3. Call the Midwife (excellent, though scary look into 1950s childbirth in London ghetto)
4. Foyle's War (the Murder, She Wrote of the BBC)
5. Top Gear (setting aside my disgust of their destruction of the Serengeti, it's generally a good program)

Well, now they have ANOTHER intriguing series coming out:  Fleming.  

► Fleming   Official Trailer

It's about Ian Fleming (that would be the man who wrote and created James Bond)

Way to go BBC!  

Hollywood:  WTF!  We don't all like comedies of people getting drunk or condoms left on the front lawn or war gore.  How about a quality show?  How about some of what made Hollywood so great back in the day

Are you KIDDING!?

Yeah, I got these out of my daughter's NEW Disney coloring book.

It just disgusts me.

And if YOU don't see anything wrong with these pictures, you should examine the current year.

Creepy Santa

So, this year, my daughter finally understood "Santa".

We got a little (well, 18") Santa doll to get her used to the idea of Santa so that she wouldn't be scared when we took her to see him.

Well, that kind of backfired.

While she loves the doll (dances with it, reads to it, etc), she was quite horrified that Santa turned out to be someone as big (bigger, really) than Daddy, which then led to her clinging to Mommy and the accompanying Santa doll for dear life.

So, somehow, it all seems an appropriate year for creepy Santas:

And the part 2

The Christmas of Wrinkle Cream

Well, I hope all of your had a Merry Christmas, or Happy Holiday, or just a good day off.

I have to say it was one of the most interesting Xmases ever, in part because our daughter is old enough to actually get excited about Xmas and presents....and in part because of the gift experiences this year.  Our purchases from Barnes and Noble...well, not one of them was delivered on time and what was delivered was wrong in every instance.

Literally.

A knitting machine when it should have been an activity book.

A book on how to draw dragons when it should have been a Perlorian Cats book

So, our days with B&N are probably done.  Too bad, because the only other alternative for a large seller of books is Amazon, which we try to avoid.

Now, we have our daughter upstairs and the tree downstairs and we have the whole big reveal planned so that she sees what Santa left under the tree.  (A process, I have to say, which doesn't leave much time to enjoy the suspense of the packages under the tree for me, but I guess those days are set aside for Santa).  Anyway, so we have her all dressed up in her little pink PJs and bathrobe and bring her downstairs to see the presents...

...and she ignores them all and goes for the bookshelf for her favorite book.

That pretty much summarizes her Xmas experience, though the dollhouse/castle was a hit...once she got over being scared of the horse.

For me, I know that I am quickly approaching a decade marker and have been quite aware that the pregnancy at this time in my life, stretched out my skin more than a younger mom's so, now I have wrinkles...more wrinkles than before the pregnancy, anyway.  And while I've secretly confided this concern to a few select mothers, I definitely wasn't expecting Santa to bring me wrinkle cream.

yeah

At that point, you just smile and wave, right?

And then join your daughter in looking for your favorite book.

Let's hope this isn't the start of things to come this year.

Happy New Year

What In the World Do You Do In Kansas?

Evidently, make a sequel...

Warning: Scam Takes Advantage of Working Mothers

I found this on the job sites.  The summary description is "Moms Work From Home" under the company "Building a Business Together".

The description is this:
Do You Enjoy Helping People?

A team of “work at home” professionals will help you start your own home based business.

Benefits:

Residual Income: Do something once and get paid for it every month
Investment: Under $30 one time
The Company: Debt Free INC 500 company member of the Better Business Bureau, 25 years old
Risk: None " Complete Money back Guarantee
You will not: Sell, Stock or Deliver products or handle money (except your own income)


No obligation and no pressure. Maybe it’s for you, maybe not. Find out then decide. 

Call Tim at 559-626-7243 for more information!


Additional keywords: work, work at home, work from home, home based business, business opportunity, work at home job, work at home mom, stay at home mom, home business, work at home opportunity, internet business, work at home business, internet job, work at home internet, home based business, stay at home work, work online at home, prosper, women prospering, prospering from home, prosper at home, home business opportunity, work at home business, make money at home, make money from home, make money working at home, work at home income, make money working from home, ways to make money at home, business opportunity work at home, work at home internet, work online at home, home based business, home-based business, sales, advise, all, administrative, admin, assistant, agent, agency, accounts payable, accounting, aviation, analyst, attorney, auto, art, account, teacher, executive, advertising, automotive, account manager, acct. exec, account executive, banking, bank, bartender, business analyst, bookkeeper, business opportunities, buyer, bilingual sales, marketing, direct sales, inside sales, sales manager, marketing manager, project manager, extra income,

Notice that there is no job here.  It's a site asking you to invest money with a bunch of search keywords aimed at finding women who are miserable about having to go back to work after having a baby.

Watch out.  

There are many sites and scams designed to take advantage of you.  This is just one of them.

Lessons Learned This Week

It's been a tough week of lessons for me.  I remembered a quote that was on the chalk board (ha ha) when I was in school:

Life gives you the test first and then lesson second.

I tried looking up who said it, but it looks like it's just down as "conventional wisdom"...which means someone who isn't famous said it, I guess.

Well, things I've gotten tested on this week are:

1. Alcohol-free hand sanitizer.  Sounds like a GREAT idea.  Non-drying and still cleans your hands?  Well, don't keep it in your car during a Minnesota winter because it's the alcohol in those things that keeps the fluid from freezing.

2. Just because you're almost done breastfeeding doesn't mean your breastpump is going to last.  Murphy is right:  things are always worse at the inopportune moment.  After nearly two years, I don't suppose I should be surprised that a little motor with (let's see here...15-20 minutes per pumping, 12-14 pumpings per day for roughly 300 days straight...) 1400 hours of use would decided it needed to have a heart attack.  But frankly, did it have to be right in the middle of a snowy, last-minute shopping day?!?

3. Just because you rent a breastpump from the hospital doesn't mean that they're going to get it to you any time soon.  While I understand that oxygen is a higher need than squeezing the milk out of my swollen, burning boobs, it doesn't help that the only people you're talking to are MEN who can't possibly understand; because if they had first-hand knowledge of how it felt, they would find some way to get you that pump sooner.

4. Evidently, it is always possible and permissible to go to the ER to use their breastpump while you're waiting for your convenient home-delivery.

5. The pumps that the hospitals rent out often don't work.  MEN "test" them before delivery by plugging them in the wall.  But as I found out, this does not guarantee that there is any horse-power behind the machine noise.  If you do decide to rent the pump, make sure that YOU test the pump before the driver leaves or you'll be getting in the car at 8:30 at night going to BabiesRUs to get a new one because Target is out-of-stock.

Oh, and I must not forget:
6.  DO NOT DO BUSINESS WITH EMPIRE TODAY CARPETING.  That's another story.

Fun Week, huh?

Magazine for Your 3-5 Year Old

I've looked at several now for the 3-5 year-old reader.

Now, you have to remember what grade 3-5 year-olds are in:  Preschool and Kindergarten.

Do you remember what you learn in Kindergarten?

Letters and words like "the" and "dog".

So, magazines for 3-5 year-olds need to reflect the BEGINNER reader in story type and content.  Stories should deal with concrete physical items, not amorphic emotions like 'embarrassed'.  I found that out the hard way when I tried to read The Emperor's New Clothes to my friend's 4 year-old.  She kept asking what it meant to be 'cunning' and whatnot.

Now, I have worked on nation-wide education standards, so, those are my credentials as to why you should listen to my opinion.  I've auditioned several magazines in the 3-5 year-old age range and here's my unsolicited opinion on them:

Highlights High 5  Stories are usually of good length and content, though they add some confusion to the stories by naming children after states and cats after other animals (e.g. the cat's name in one of the stories is "Cow"- yeah).  You are also forced into Spanish immersion stories.  But the good news all of this can be fixed with a simple tool in your office:  THE PEN.  Scribble out the words that are confusing; substitute the language of your choice for the Spanish section (we like German here).   The magazine interests my daughter enough to pick up the magazine by herself and look through it.   All in all, I'd give this magazine 3.5 to 4 stars on the Irish Lass scale.

Click (by Cricket Magazine) This is HORRIBLE!  DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY.  The magazine feels cheap as far as paper quality goes and the "stories" inside...well, they have SEVEN (7) FULL PAGE STORIES WITH ONE SMALL PICTURE ON EACH PAGE.  The concepts are NOT age appropriate- things like Roman Numerals, volume comparisons, and converting from one set of units to another (e.g. English/American units to metric).  These children are lucky if they can COUNT to 20!  I'll honestly have to reevaluate this magazine when my child reaches 3rd/4th grade, which is when volume comparisons and conversions are first taught.  For the age group, I give this one a 1 out of 5 stars because give the most advanced child will be coming to YOU to explain what is meant by a conversion and will either not be able to grasp the concept or will have you explaining all of the math lessons in between to try to understand (and hopefully, they don't learn/remember incorrectly because THAT'S a teacher's worst nightmare).

Ranger Rick, Jr.  Now, this magazine is actually rated for slightly older children, but I found it's PERFECT for my beginner reader.  Every page has BIG pictures that fill the page.  Bright colors and it's mostly about nature and animals.  My daughter immediately told me about the panda's "baby" when she saw it.  There is only one long story (5 pages) that features the animals in that issue.  (fairly clever, I thought).  But what really sold me on this magazine was this:  every animal is LABELED, so when my daughter points repeatedly to a picture to have me say the word, I point to the word when I read it to her.  That way she understands that the word is the animal.  THAT is what you should be teaching in  beginning reading.  I give this one 4.5 out of 5 stars because I wish they had a game in the issue.

What Target Doesn't Do For You

So, I'm sure you've all heard about the Target credit card hack by now.

Well, what Target does is send you an email (if you're on their list).  The letter and the website are the same:  they instruct you to call Customer Service if you have any concerns about your card.

However, when you call the number, it's not a customer service rep like the site and letter say.

No

It's a 30 second, recorded message that summarizes the letter and site that gives Target's callus corporate apology for letting their system get hacked, followed by a message instructing you to call your bank or card's customer service for further assistance.

Then the message hangs up on you.

It doesn't allow you to actually speak to anyone.

So, don't bother trying to talk to Target.  They won't help you.  Spend your 20 minutes waiting on hold with your card company.

Oh, and don't forget to get a different card number.  Something that Target doesn't remind you to do.

With all the card charges that Target is going to start charging you for using your card, AND their lack of card security- it really makes you want to pay in cash from now on.

..and then end up paying the ATM fees.

You just can't win.

Dear Target Guest,

As you have likely heard by now, Target experienced unauthorized access to payment card data from U.S. Target stores. We take this crime seriously. It was a crime against Target, our team members and most importantly you - our valued guest.

We understand that a situation like this creates stress and anxiety about the safety of your payment card data at Target. Our brand has been built on a 50-year foundation of trust with our guests, and we want to assure you that the cause of this issue has been addressed and you can shop with confidence at Target.

We want you to know a few important things: The unauthorized access took place in U.S. Target stores between Nov. 27 and Dec. 15, 2013. Canadian stores and target.com were not affected. Even if you shopped at Target during this time frame, it doesn’t mean you are a victim of fraud. In fact, in other similar situations, there are typically low levels of actual fraud. There is no indication that PIN numbers have been compromised on affected bank issued PIN debit cards or Target debit cards. Someone cannot visit an ATM with a fraudulent debit card and withdraw cash. You will not be responsible for fraudulent charges – either your bank or Target have that responsibility. We’re working as fast as we can to get you the information you need. Our guests are always the first priority. For extra assurance, we will offer free credit monitoring services for everyone impacted. We’ll be in touch with you soon on how and where to access the service.

Please read the full notice below. And over the coming days and weeks we will be relying oncorporate.target.com and our various social channels to answer questions and keep you up to date.

Thank you for your patience, understanding and loyalty to Target!

FAQ

Important Notice

We wanted to make you aware of unauthorized access to Target payment card data. The unauthorized access may impact guests who made credit or debit card purchases in our U.S. stores from Nov. 27 to Dec. 15, 2013. Your trust is a top priority for Target, and we deeply regret the inconvenience this may cause. The privacy and protection of our guests’ information is a matter we take very seriously and we have worked swiftly to resolve the incident.

We began investigating the incident as soon as we learned of it. We have determined that the information involved in this incident included customer name, credit or debit card number, and the card’s expiration date and CVV.

We are partnering with a leading third-party forensics firm to conduct a thorough investigation of the incident and to examine additional measures we can take that would be designed to help prevent incidents of this kind in the future. Additionally, Target alerted authorities and financial institutions immediately after we discovered and confirmed the unauthorized access, and we are putting our full resources behind these efforts.

We recommend that you closely review the information provided in this letter for some steps that you may take to protect yourself against potential misuse of your credit and debit information. You should remain vigilant for incidents of fraud and identity theft by regularly reviewing your account statements and monitoring free credit reports. If you discover any suspicious or unusual activity on your accounts or suspect fraud, be sure to report it immediately to your financial institutions. In addition, you may contact the Federal Trade Commission (“FTC”) or law enforcement to report incidents of identity theft or to learn about steps you can take to protect yourself from identity theft. To learn more, you can go to the FTC’s Web site, at www.consumer.gov/idtheft, or call the FTC, at (877) IDTHEFT (438-4338) or write to Federal Trade Commission, Consumer Response Center, 600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, DC 20580.

You may also periodically obtain credit reports from each nationwide credit reporting agency. If you discover information on your credit report arising from a fraudulent transaction, you should request that the credit reporting agency delete that information from your credit report file. In addition, under federal law, you are entitled to one free copy of your credit report every 12 months from each of the three nationwide credit reporting agencies. You may obtain a free copy of your credit report by going to www.AnnualCreditReport.comor by calling (877) 322-8228. You may contact the nationwide credit reporting agencies at:

Equifax (800) 525-6285 P.O. Box 740241 Atlanta, GA 30374-0241 Allen, TX 75013 www.equifax.com Experian (888) 397-3742 P.O. Box 9532 www.experian.com TransUnion (800) 680-7289 Fraud Victim Assistance Division P.O. Box 6790 Fullerton, CA 92834-6790 www.transunion.com

In addition, you may obtain information from the FTC and the credit reporting agencies about fraud alerts and security freezes. You can add a fraud alert to your credit report file to help protect your credit information. A fraud alert can make it more difficult for someone to get credit in your name because it tells creditors to follow certain procedures to protect you, but it also may delay your ability to obtain credit. You may place a fraud alert in your file by calling just one of the three nationwide credit reporting agencies listed above. As soon as that agency processes your fraud alert, it will notify the other two agencies, which then must also place fraud alerts in your file. In addition, you can contact the nationwide credit reporting agencies regarding if and how you may place a security freeze on your credit report to prohibit a credit reporting agency from releasing information from your credit report without your prior written authorization.

Again, we want to stress that we regret any inconvenience or concern this incident may cause you. Be assured that we place a top priority on protecting the security of our guests’ personal information. Please do not hesitate to contact us at 866-852-8680 or visit Target’s website if you have any questions or concerns. If you used a non-Target credit or debit card at Target between Nov. 27 and Dec. 15 and have questions or concerns about activity on your card, please contact the issuing bank by calling the number on the back of your card.

IF YOU ARE AN IOWA RESIDENT: You may contact local law enforcement or the Iowa Attorney General’s Office to report suspected incidents of identity theft. You can contact the Iowa Attorney General at:

Office of the Attorney General 1305 E. Walnut Street Des Moines, IA 50319 (515) 281-5164 www.iowaattorneygeneral.gov

IF YOU ARE A MARYLAND RESIDENT: You may obtain information about avoiding identity theft from the FTC or the Maryland Attorney General’s Office. These offices can be reached at:

Federal Trade Commission Consumer Response Center 600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, DC 20580 (877) IDTHEFT (438-4338) http://www.ftc.gov/idtheft/ North Carolina Department of Justice Attorney General Roy Cooper 9001 Mail Service Center Raleigh, NC 27699-9001 (877) 566-7226 http://www.ncdoj.com

IF YOU ARE A MASSACHUSETTS RESIDENT: Under Massachusetts law, you have the right to obtain a police report in regard to this incident. If you are the victim of identity theft, you also have the right to file a police report and obtain a copy of it.

Massachusetts law also allows consumers to place a security freeze on their credit reports. A security freeze prohibits a credit reporting agency from releasing any information from a consumer’s credit report without written authorization. However, please be aware that placing a security freeze on your credit report may delay, interfere with, or prevent the timely approval of any requests you make for new loans, mortgages, employment, housing or other services.

In order to request a security freeze, you will need to provide the following information: Your full name (including middle initial as well as Jr., Sr., II, III, etc.); Social Security number; Date of birth; If you have moved in the past five (5) years, the addresses where you have lived over the prior five years; Proof of current address (e.g., a current utility bill or telephone bill); A legible photocopy of a government issued identification card (e.g., state driver’s license or ID card or military identification); If you are a victim of identity theft, a copy of either the police report, investigative report, or complaint to a law enforcement agency concerning identity theft; If you are not a victim of identity theft, payment by check, money order, or credit card (Visa, MasterCard, American Express or Discover only). Do not send cash through the mail.

The credit reporting agencies have three (3) business days after receiving your request to place a security freeze on your credit report. The credit reporting agencies must also send written confirmation to you within five (5) business days and provide you with a unique personal identification number (PIN) or password, or both that can be used by you to authorize the removal or lifting of the security freeze.

To lift the security freeze in order to allow a specific entity or individual access to your credit report, you must call or send a written request to the credit reporting agencies by mail and include proper identification (name, address, and Social Security number) and the PIN number or password provided to you when you placed the security freeze, as well as the identities of those entities or individuals you would like to receive your credit report or the specific period of time you want the credit report available. The credit reporting agencies have three (3) business days after receiving your request to lift the security freeze for those identified entities or for the specified period of time.

To remove the security freeze, you must send a written request to each of the three credit reporting agencies by mail and include proper identification (name, address, and Social Security number) and the PIN number or password provided to you when you placed the security freeze. The credit reporting agencies have three (3) business days after receiving your request to remove the security freeze.

FAQs

Is the CVV code the same as the three digit code on the back of my card?

No, the CVV code is not the same as the security code on the back of your card. As of now we have no indication that the three digit code on the back of the card has been impacted.

How do I know if this impacts me?

If you shopped at Target between Nov. 27 and Dec. 15, you should check your account for any suspicious or unusual activity. If you see something that appears fraudulent, REDcard holders should contact Target, others should contact their bank.

If I shopped at Target.com or in Canada should I be concerned?

No, this was an issue that impacted US stores.

Can I still use my card at Target?

Yes you can, if you used your card during the impacted periods, you should continue to monitor your accounts.

Has the issue been resolved?

Yes, Target moved swiftly to address this issue so guests can shop with confidence. We have identified and resolved the issue of unauthorized access to payment card data. The issue occurred between Nov. 27 and Dec. 15 and guests should continue to monitor their accounts.

How can I be assured you are taking the steps to protect my information in the future?

We continue to invest in our security practices to protect our guests’ information including the retention of a leading third party forensics firm to conduct a thorough investigation of this incident. We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused our guests.

If I call you what are your hours of operation?

Agents are available to take calls from 7am to 11pm daily.

Unwritten Contracts

I once took a webinar for BAs about approval vs. consent.  The intent was to draw attention to the fact that approval is what you get in a signature.  It's often followed by comments like, "well, I'll sign this, but...."

At that point, you have approval without consent, and trying to enforce whatever you have just gotten signed...well, you might as well use the paper for wiping your ass because unless you're going to court over the signature, it's not going to get you anything.  The presenter was trying to make a point that an oral agreement with consent is stronger than a written document with a signature.

Well, right now I have two situations where companies are making some pie crust promises to me.  In other words, "just take my word for it".

In both cases, it's a LARGE sum of money- in the thousands.  They want me to pay for a product that they promise to deliver in the future without so much as a receipt.

Now, I ask you, do you think I really care whether or not I have their oral consent?

Would YOU?

I want the agreement IN WRITING.  I don't care if they grudgingly sign the agreement.

IT BETTER BE IN WRITING! 

AT LEAST A RECEIPT!

In Search of Santa

So, I'm a big believer in Santa.

More specifically, I'm interested in the Coca Cola/American Santa Claus.  When I take my daughter to see Santa, she wants to see the Coca Cola Santa because it's like all the pictures and dolls of Santa.

Now, I understand- people want to add their own flavor to playing Santa.

HOWEVER, what's the point in just being a white-haired man in red and green clothes?

Hippy Santa at the Eden Prairie Mall= NO.

Santa at MOA this year= YES

Now, my next question:  Why don't malls post the pictures of their Santas on their websites?  If they have subsidized the Santa being there, why not advertise?  Is it because they're ashamed that they don't have a Coca Cola Santa?

I think so.  I can't think of any other reason why a picture wouldn't be pasted on every page of their websites.

Malls:  just something to think about for next year...

End of An Era

It's the end of an era.

It used to be that having a credit card meant that you had someone watching your back- a big corporation that would do battle with the merchant corporations on your behalf when their products didn't live up to their promises.

Guess that era is over.

When I called to dispute the $75 Amazon Prime charge that Amazon illegally assessed me, there was a 1/2 hour conversation with Visa Disputes about how it was my fault and that it was up to me to clear it up with Amazon.

Luckily, Amazon reversed the charges.

Now, however, I'm fighting a carpet company who splintered the trim and doors of my house during the improper installation of defective carpet.  And Visa?  They say that if the company is willing to talk to me, that I have to pay the cost of the carpet.

UHM!....

You do realize that the only reason the carpet company is talking to me is that I have not paid the money, right!?  As soon as I pay them, their willingness to talk to me will be about as interested as the Amish will be about talking to the electric company.

And despite escalating up the chain of command in the disputes department, the attitude is quite clear:  the disputes department is there to convince you that the merchants are correct.  In fact, I had to ask/remind the service reps and managers that I was the customer, right???  And this is, Customer Service, right?  Points which they just responded to by saying that all credit card companies are like this and I won't get any better service with any other company.

I guess I'll have to take them up on their challenge because Visa- well, like Sprint, you have gone downhill and I'm not wanting to pay you any more.

Just Can't Stand It!

This program really is just so cute you just can't STAND IT!

(well, except for the Persians- who cares about Persian cats?!?)

TOO CUTE (Animal Planet)

What I Learned From Dora

There are stories of how much I loved doing jigsaw puzzles in my youth.  

And frankly, if you lived where it's 115 during the day, you'd find excuses for staying in-doors, too.  But, regardless, I do love doing them now- especially the Christensen ones with the fancy fantasy characters.

It's one thing I really miss about being the parent of a toddler and two cats- they ALL want to take your pieces and store them somewhere for you.

I'm really looking forward to the time where I can sit down with my daughter (I know the cats will always want to "help") and do a puzzle together.   She's currently fascinated with a 100 piece holiday puzzle with a gingerbread man on it.  And though we tried to put it together, she just doesn't quite get the concept.  She knows that the pieces make a picture...and that one side doesn't have a picture, but she hasn't made the leap to realize that YOU need to build the picture.

So, despite several attempts (and recounting of the pieces), we aborted 100 piece puzzle in lieu of something more her speed.  She had received a Dora the Explorer puzzle as a gift- a little framed wooden one with 12-15 pieces...you know the type?

Well, as I was helping her, I realized that all the pieces are not only interlocking, but they're also interchangeable.

Now, honestly, how is that helpful in learning how to do a jigsaw puzzle!?!  

No wonder the kid doesn't understand about a unique fit!  When I was a kid- before the beginner puzzles (primer puzzles!!?) were made of wood, they were made of cardboard.  I had one with Mickey on roller skates (70s, you know?  Everyone was on roller skates).  It had 25 uniquely shaped pieces, as well as the pattern for the pieces pressed into the cardboard.

You GOT the idea that you're supposed to find the matching shape piece and put in the matching pattern "hole".  

You GOT what the point of a jigsaw puzzle was- it's to match the correctly shaped pieces together; the image is secondary.  (This is probably why, to this day, I strongly feel that looking at the image on the box is CHEATING!  You need to match the pieces and the image magically appears).

Anyway, I went in search of a 25 piece puzzle that had uniquely shaped pieces.

NO LUCK!  

Thanks to Melissa and Doug, ALL of the 25 piece puzzles that I could find are the wooden framed type with interchangeable pieces (not to mention STEEPLY more expensive than a little cardboard puzzle, which I couldn't find).  The next step up was 35 pieces, which is exponentially more difficult than a 25 piece puzzle, but at least I found one with a Princess made by Ravensburger, who generally makes good puzzles.  

I did find a "box set" of Winnie the Pooh wood puzzles, but the pieces didn't fit together- what good was that!?!  And when you tried, you either almost broke the balsa piece or got a splinter trying.

But I never thought I would be SEARCHING for those cheap little cardboard training puzzles.  If anyone finds them, please share.

The Xmas Letter...

I have always hated the Xmas letter.  It's pretty much the most impersonal recollection of the past year, with the only interesting element being whether or not you rated being mentioned.  I didn't used to mind them, but when a relative died and it was skipped in the letter by another relative...well, that pretty much placed me on the side actively against the stupid letter.

But this year, I've received yet another downgraded example of the letter:  The Xmas postcard.

On the front, there's a collage of pictures.

On the back, is the stupid letter- boiled down to a paragraph.

In this letter, the family talked about how their daughter was learning her letters and numbers.

That doesn't sound bad, right?

Well, the kid's almost two years older than our daughter...who is happily reading her Disney Princess book.  While the kid is not slow, it does make one wonder about putting that kind of content in the letter

But, then, what else would you put in the letter?

Hence, the letter is dumb.

In fact, with the price of postage now equating the the air mail of my youth, I been relegated to eCards...which no one seems to mind and there's no guilt about clicking Delete after you read it.

It's That Time of Year Again!

Reading and Paint

So, my daughter is learning to read, right?  And so we're getting early reader books.

These books are also called, "primers".

I'm also painting the house a lot lately.  The first layer of paint is called...

..."primer".

Why is it that it's a "Prim-er" when you read and "Prime-r" when you paint?

Well, That's a First

Today, I was told (thankfully) by a recruiter that they just didn't see enough biology and medical background in my resume to work on an EMR (that's Electronic Medical Records system- the thing that the doctors and nurses look at instead of you when you go into to see them now).

Anyway, yeah...what a shocker.  The irony is that I had to take so much of my biology background OUT when I tried to break into IT because no one thought that the two really meshed at the time (man, I'm dating myself).  I had changed all of my lab work to sound more like IT work so that the auto-scanning programs wouldn't just throw my resume out for lack of experience- which would have been the truth then.  You know, "programmed DNA" and "quality assurance of" this or that solution.

So, it's a complete shocker to be told I just don't have enough biology in there.

Everyone embrace the long resume.

And at this time, only one comment really comes to mind:

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

LOL!!!!!


Gets me every time!

Healthcare Prices

I'm looking for a new vet for my cat.  The last one put him in a muzzle because he didn't have a rabbies shot and the vet was afraid he might get bit by my non-rabid cat.  Of course, the vet didn't tell me all of this until AFTER I had left my little baby with him and returned to pick him up.  I've never had such a supposedly educated person freak out so much about a disease he'd, himself, been vaccinated AGAINST getting!

So, you can see, I will never return to that cat-hating vet.

But, now my cat has managed to get himself some pink eye- or at least a scratch on his eye and we need to go get it taken care of.

Now, this is probably not going to be someone I go back to because, well, I don't take my cats to the vet unless they're sick.  So, like anyone else in my position, I pulled up Google Maps and looked for someone close.

After checking their website, I have this simple question to ask all healthcare providers:

Why don't you post your prices?

Don't pretend that you don't use a price sheet.

And, especially for vet care, where most people who go are in the same position that I'm in- a single, short office visit.

But the concept is the same for ALL healthcare- humans, too.  It seems to me, that if Obama wanted to provide reasonably priced healthcare, the first place to start would be a little healthy competition among clinics and hospitals by posting their prices.

Another Energy Recycling Opportunity

Lately, it's been rather cold here in Minnesota...and with the cost of heat always rising, it makes you think of other ways that we could capture energy.

Notice I didn't say generate energy...because the first law of thermodynamics says that energy can be neither created nor destroyed- only transformed.

Ok, so, enough of the science stuff.  Now for the inventions of the future!

1. Gyms.  Like, work-out gyms.  Why aren't we harvesting some of the heat energy that is burned by the users of the equipment?  Like having some sort of little hand-held device that allows you to charge up batteries while endlessly climbing stairs...or a giant turbine at the top of the building?  I know that I build up a static electricity charge every time I walk on the treadmill because when I reach for the controls, there's a large blue arc that discharges when I touch the controls (promptly followed by my hair suddenly falling down- guess it's a bit Einstein-y when I walk).

2. Treadmill desks and elliptical desks.   Honestly, I couldn't picture the elliptical desks, because the elliptical machine involves the whole body and how can you type when your hands are on the handlebars?  Well, here's a picture of the incorrectly named elliptical desk.  It's basically just an ergonomic bicycle desk.

Anyway, all of that energy that is created by manually pumping those peddles...why aren't we recharging our cell phones or powering our iPads?

3. The last one is rather disgusting, but you have to wonder...particularly in Hollywood....what happens to all the fat from liposuctions?  People ATE those calories.  That's stored energy.  What happens to it?  Is it burned for energy?  (Now, I know from working with doctors that some of that is actually used for fat transplants for burn victims and the extremely malnourished- not kidding- but there are an awful lot of skinny people in southern California...).

Stay tuned for more energy capturing ideas...

Painting Day

Up to the roof top Mommy crawls
Time to prime and paint the walls
Shinny up the ladder without a scratch
Now the room has walls that match

Cork Rot

As a wine drinker, I found this really interesting.  Some of those bottles that just don't seem to have a bouquet at all...this could be the reason.

Now they need to develop a tester for such a thing.

http://www.ibtimes.com/nasty-molecule-behind-corked-wine-alters-your-sense-smell-study-1407248

Graybeards

I have been quietly (or not, if you're my family) covering my graying hair for years.  It was quite an unpleasant surprise.  I'd been highlighting (or frosting, as we called it in the 80s) my hair since 8th grade, so, when I decided to go "natural", I was expecting a dark blonde.

But I got a dark blonde with "magic sparkles" as my daughter would say.

And despite my protestations about being too young, I also agree with my family who remind me that it's not the age, it's the mileage.  

But it was really quite something when I got my first gray granny hair in my chin last year.  Those little F-ers are SO hard to find but you can feel them all prickly, and you end up nearly digging a hole in your chin trying to pull them out.

And, still, with all of this graying evidence literally staring me in the face, I feel that I am really not that old...

...right!????

Well, it finally happened.

For the entire week, I've interviewed with hiring managers who are younger than myself (at least based on their listed LinkedIn experience).  It was one thing to have a doctor that is younger than you, which really does make one feel quite old, but to work for someone with less experience than yourself...well, that is quite a perplexing feeling....particularly since I'm not quite middle aged....yet.  It makes it quite obvious that my career in IT is quickly coming to an end unless the world changes soon.

It just goes to show you that people get promoted or hired into management level roles that used to take decades to ascend to within a company.  And the people that are hired have no experience in managing, but they're young and willing too many hours for entry level pay and a management title.

What has the world come to?

How To Remove Yourself From WhitePages.com

Another site to remove yourself from.  This is a biggie- a lot of other sites reference whitepages.com so it's a good idea to clear yourself out of this one.  The interesting twist is this:  white the site doesn't allow you to completely hide your information, it does allow you to completely EDIT your information. 

What you'll need:

Just the website

1.  Navigate to whitepages.com and search for yourself.

2.  Click the Edit pencil icon to claim the profile.  Don't worry- you don't have to give them more info.  In fact, if you do this in an Incognito window, it's probably even safer.

3.  When the page reloads, it asks if you want to sign in using Facebook.  DON'T.  This will link your Facebook account and all of its information to this site.  Click the "Not interested in using Facebook" link, instead.

4.Once you make your account, you are brought to your "account home" page.  You'll see all of the information that whitepages.com has about you.  This is where you can get sneaky.  The only information that this site requires is that at you have the First Name, Last Name, and Age populated....but it doesn't have to be with your info.  

5.  Just click the "Edit" button in that cell to navigate to the detail page for that data.  

6.  Edit the data.  

7.If it's not required, delete it.  Make sure you SAVE.  

This, I think, is the safest way to remove your information from this site because it won't be coming back.  

8.  However, as an added precaution, you can click on the "Privacy Settings" on your account page.  This will show the Privacy Settings for you account.  

9. Select the "Hide all information about me" checkbox.

10.  Click Update.

Make sure you repeat these steps for your friends and family, or your information will show up under their's as a relative.