Spyberries

You know how in spy and espionage movies, the stars always get these cool gadgets that come in little boxes with foam perfecting cut for the gadget?

Well, I got an order from Harry and David today- strawberries.  My husband had purchased the Fruit of the Month club membership for me/us for my birthday.

Now, I know you're all shocked that me, who is more of a dairy girl and fresh fruits and vegetables, would like a Fruit of the Month club membership.  Let me say that Harry and David do provide the best fruit I've ever had besides going to the road-side stands in California and getting a flat fresh from the farm.

But, the strawberries.  So, we were told we'd be getting some strawberries for May.

And that seems like a good time because May was always the first strawberry harvest in Fresno- just in time for Mother's Day.

So, when we got the box in the mail and I saw that they were from California, I was reminiscing about the strawberry pizzas and strawberry shortcake that we used to make for Mother's Day...and how that might be nice to do this year....

...and then I saw that there were, quite literally, 20 strawberries in the box.

Each of the strawberries is quite large, palm-sized as a matter of fact, but I really wasn't expecting to have a shipment of strawberries show up with each strawberry nestled in high-tech foam...INDIVIDUALLY.

I had to check to make sure that they were actually strawberries and not high tech spy equipment

(queue the music)

Sesame Street Books With Questionable Lessons

I've already talked about how Elmo is banned my house because of poor grammar, so my feelings about the book entitled Good Job, Abby, staring Elmo and Abby, shouldn't be a surprise.

But what made me really sad was reading the other Sesame Street foam books. 

The first is Love Means..., again starring Elmo.  I had high hopes for this one since he doesn't actually have any dialog in the book.  The book walks the child through how love means taking care of pets, and helping others...

...and then falls flat when the moral page (e.g. the last page) says that love is when you are loved in return.

Uhm, WHAT!?  

What a crappy thing to say!  I compare it to the book I Love You Because You're You where the mommy and toddler go through different situations and the mommy still loves the toddler.  Granted, the book as another problem of being parent-specific (I would rather it have talked about BOTH parents) but it's still a good book for your children with lots of emotion descriptions.

So, the last foam book that I'm reviewing from Sesame Street is Ernie's Cheerful Smile.   I really though this one would be good since it's starring an ORIGINAL Sesame Street character.  

sigh

The story walks through how Ernie is cheery in all types of situations- finds the silver lining- while Bert is miserable.  And then you get to the moral page where Bert is finally happy!  

Guess why!

Because he beat Ernie at a board game.

WTF!?  What are these books teaching children?!  Who is approving these stories with crappy morals about loving is really when you get loved back and you can really be happy when you beat someone else.

What's sad is that parents and grandparents buy these books for children without really READING them first, which only emphasizes the morals (oh, this is ok to do because Grandma gave it to me- it's how she wants me to think).

Be attentive parents- don't buy Sesame Street foam books.

Educators Against Elmo

I'm thinking of starting a club.  I started thinking I'd call it "Mothers Against Elmo", but that didn't include the dads.  So, then I thought "Parents Against Elmo", but that left out other educators and people in children's lives.

So, I think I'm going to call it "Educators Against Elmo".

Why should I despise Elmo so much?

Yes, Elmo.



Well!

I guess it started during the Tickle Me Elmo era.  Something that iconic and "must have" isn't a good thing- ever.  Now, Elmo's a big star.  He's got his own show separate from Sesame Street.

Only Kermit has been able to achieve that standing with the Muppet Show, I don't think that Grover-killing Elmo really fits the bill.  (Yes, Elmo killed Grover- does anyone even remember lovable Grover? The blue monster who sounded a lot like Fozzy Bear?)  Well, this isn't an issue yet, because we don't let our daughter watch TV.

But I think that the deciding factor for hating Elmo came after my daughter received a couple of books from my in-laws starring Elmo.  My little bookworm made us read them to her immediately....

...and me was appalled by what me readed in the grammar.

HOW CAN AN EDUCATIONAL ICON LIKE ELMO HAVE GRAMMAR LIKE RIDICULED JAR-JAR BINKS?

The book was only distilling a couple of examples of how Elmo speaks, but I realized when I read it to my daughter that it IS how Elmo ALWAYS speaks.  Cookie Monster had poor grammar, as well, but he was not on all the time and everyone KNEW that he was "dumb".  How can we continue to let our children watch "educational" programming and read "educational" books that are TEACHING THEM THE WRONG THINGS!?!

And THAT is what made me come up with the idea for Educators Against Elmo.

...and we're donating the books.

Coasters and Glade

I was raise with coasters.

I was raised that if you set that drink on the table without a coaster, you'd risk the Wrath of Mom.  Very, very bad.  And if you made a mark on a table because you didn't use a coaster, you should pray for a quick death.

So, naturally, I have coasters in my own house (though right now, most of the tables are put away because I've got a toddler and don't want to have broken furniture or faces)

ANYWAAYY, the coaster.

I've been to other people's house's and some do and don't have coasters.  When they do have coasters, I know I should use one and with the houses that don't, I feel strange about setting my glass down and end up holding it most of the time.

What I don't understand is why, when you provide coasters to guests in stack on the table, IN PLAIN VIEW, why they would even think to set a drink anywhere without one.

I used to say something to these guests like, "Can you use a coaster, please?" but that (strangely) felt awkward to ask someone to obey the rules of my house.  Since then, I've just taken to bringing a coaster to the glass, picking it up, and showing the guest how a coaster works.  It saves the embarrassment of me having to ask and most of the time, the guest says, "Ah, thanks"...

...though I've had to come and reset glasses that are set down NEXT to coasters, a situation that boggles my mind about as much as trying to describe the size of the universe.

But as irritating as it is to have the coasters game, it is even MORE irritating when guests don't use the air freshener provided for their use in the bathroom.  Since I don't currently have my own, private master bath (fingers crossed for the next house), I have to walk into the bathroom, after my guests, and experience the side effects of their activities in said room.  It's not that I don't understand body functions- heck, biologist, remember?

But if you have enough time in said room to sing a song, then you have enough time to use that can of Glade kindly provided for your use on the back of the toilet.

Boing, Boing

I've complained earlier about the new See n' Say toy. 

While tempted, I won't repeat the tirade.

However, this week, my daughter saw a bunny outside in the grass.  When we went to play with the See n' Say, she pointed to the bunny and then pointed outside.  (Freakin' Amazing for 14 months!)

"Yes, a bunny!"

But when we spun the wheel, the toy said, "The bunny says, 'Boing, Boing'."

Now, I'm not a expert in forest mammology, HOWEVER, I'm PRETTY FREAKIN' SURE THAT BUNNIES DON'T SAY "BOING, BOING".

They don't even make a noise that sounds like "Boing, Boing".

But when I went to tell my daughter what sound a bunny did make, I realized that I didn't know.  I knew that, being a prey animal, they're generally quiet.  But I was pretty sure that a bunny, being a mammal, did make SOME noise, though..

Naturally, the internet to the rescue.

Turns out that they make few distinct vocalizations:  

1. Grunts (which sound like pigs snorting), 
2. Honking (which is the sound in the Cadbury Egg commercials- I always thought that they made that up!)
3. "Purrs" (which is when they chatter their teeth when they're happy- it sounds like a turtle dove), 
4. Hissing (if you have a cat, you know this whole open-mouthed expression of attack.  I couldn't find a good video)
5. Shrieking (like a pig- it sounds like a stuck pig)

Now, I can see why See n' Say was confused about what sound to put down for a bunny.  They make sounds like sound A LOT like pigs, chickens, and birds.

But then my question back to Fisher Price is this:  

WHY DID YOU EVEN PUT THE ANIMAL IN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!?  

It's quickly becoming one of the WORST toys I've ever purchased.

Snow

So, what is it with climatologists?

Those are supposed to be the weathermen.   They guys that can read the clouds an the wave patterns and tell us what the weather is going to be like TOMORROW.  Now, I know that the guys on the news and in the newspapers generally suck at predicting the weather, which is why my husband and I like to use the National Weather Service.

Not weather.com- that's the Weather Channel.

We're talking about the group of scientists that have devoted their lives to STUDYING the weather.

But I honestly don't know what they were smoking lately.

They predicted 3-7 inches of snow for Minneapolis last night.  On MAY DAY!

100% chance of heavy snow, it said.

My husband and I made plans for the digging out of vehicles and the working from home scenarios.  In other words, a snow day, because we knew that the cities wouldn't plow out from that this late in the year.

Since I'm still breastfeeding, I was up at 1 am.  I looked outside.

How much snow did I see?

NONE

No precipitation AT ALL.

I went back to bed.

I got up at 4 am.  I looked outside.

How much snow did I see?

NONE

No precipitation AT ALL.

I went back to bed.

I got up at 6 am.  I looked outside.

How much snow did I see?

Yeah, you kind of know by now:  NONE.  The streets are completely dry.

Now, government jokes aside, generally the scientific communities are correct- the site, until recently was www.noaa.org.  How can a group of highly intelligent scientists make such a LARGE misprediction with 100% confidence?

Guess I should go back to reading the wave patterns like my 4th grade teacher (Mr C, rest in peace) taught me...or reading the fuzzy caterpillar stripes like the Farmer's Almanac does.  It's a lot more predictable than what the scientists are giving us.

What's In A Name?

I grew up in California.

California is the epitome of the "melting pot" of America- it gets immigrants from ALL over, either because it's got a huge coastline, or there's the most popular draw....

Hollywood.

But regardless of the reason, I started learning about "diversity" (aka "life") as a kid.  I remember this one exotic girl in my kindergarten class:  Gina.  She had long black hair and tanned skin.  I can't remember now if she was Italian or Pacific Islander.  But she was exotic.

I became so used to different people around me, that it really didn't matter who was in my class: Nuygens and Tchangs and Gonzales and Thompson.  It was just who was in my class.

And you were expected to learn how to say everyone's name correctly.  It must have been just as hard for some Asians to pronounce "Lisa" as it was for me to pronounce Tsuchiguchi (though now that I know the Japanese alphabet, I can spell it correctly on the first try!)

But then I moved to Minnesota.

A.k.a "The great white north".

And they're not referring to the snow.

In Minnesota, the Asians (well, specifically the Chinese) find American names for themselves.
I first encountered this sad custom when I was working as a scientist.  My friend in the lab was advised to do this by the Chinese consulate, believe it or not, and she and her whole family were trying to find names for themselves that meant something similar to their Chinese names.

Of course, that would be a failure from the get-go.

Turns out that Chinese names, at least traditionally, incorporate all aspects of the family:

Family Name, Generation Name, Personal Name

How cool is that?!

So, everyone in the generation might be Xiao+ some other name.

I guess there is something of a similar tradition in America- some families start all of the generation's names with the same letter....but it's not a predictable custom.

I found this an exciting custom and I didn't understand why they would want to throw away their culture.  They told me that the consulate said that Chinese names were too hard for Americans to pronounce.  That made me really sad.

In a land that is supposed to be such a melting pot, it doesn't seem really "melty" to throw away your NAME just because someone needs to be taught how to say it properly.  It seems that when we have something to learn from each other, we open barriers of communication and get past a lot of the suspicion and uncertainty that keeps this nation from truly being a great melting pot.