One More Smell Technology That's Missing

This one is really basic, but I don't know how to do it.

Why is it that with all of the candle and air freshener manufacturers, not one of them has produced a way to get rid of the smell of fresh paint?

Smell Technology

My daughter has recently started to sniff things.

Like, actually, <sniff><sniff>.

She thinks she's quite something because she can make the <sniff><sniff> sound with her nose now.

And as I was making a call yesterday, I wondered- what ever happened to smell-o-phones?  You know, the idea that technology would be able to somehow produce a smell from across the phone (or internet).

I was thinking- it can't be that hard, can it?

You'd just need to have a "palate" of smells that you can produce at the receiving end and some sort of chemical/molecule assayer at the sending end....then it's just a matter of "produce this many molecules of smell A, this many of B"... like a little smell recipe.

Now, I know that companies already make these air testers to measure particulates in the air.  I wonder why no one is putting these two together?   You'd make a fortune!

But, one request from my end- please provide an "off" feature...because I don't want to smell everyone that is talking to me over the phone.

Hip Problems

I found this article about femoral acetabular impingement (clicking hips) and I had to laugh a bit.  The article poses the question:  why is this problem so underdiagnosed?

Honestly, I'll tell you:  doctor's just don't usually care enough to check.

Seriously.

Doctors get paid regardless of whether or not they get the diagnosis right, so there is no incentive for correct diagnoses.  (Actually, I've had several medical school colleagues tell me it's much worse than that- it starts in school.  If you can't pass the class, the professor works with you until you can eek out a C...or they just get tired and give you one anyway.  True stories.  Horror stories for their patients.)

But continuing with the hip impingement...the people who have this problem are generally young athletes, young dancers, and the "middle aged".

Who's going to listen to high school students who say that their hips click?  They just never get to realize their dreams of pro-whatever.  Sad, but true.

And once you're middle aged, the response you get from doctors that are now younger than you (GRRR) is just that "you're old".

Throw a "Ma'am" in there for good measure and you've proven that you just can't ever get good healthcare

Unless you're rich and have a private doctor.

Enjoy you're next doctor visit.

Happy Halloween

UGH!

What happened to Target.com?

Did someone throw up?

This is terrible!  It looks like some old advertising page from a cheap magazine!

Tame Tabbies

Here's an interesting tidbit from the world of genetics for all you cat lovers.

I'm afraid, though, that the change in behavior that we could possibly see would not take place in our life time.  It would take THOUSANDS of generations to make this kind of change.

Sorry,  Dr.Bradshaw.  You may be right, but the likelihood of spaying and neutering having a dramatic effect is less likely than world peace.

Another Reason For Home Schooling

It's just something I've noticed about my daughter since we started taking her to classes:

Her behavior at times is, well, growing more independent.

In other words, she doesn't follow directions from her Mommy very well anymore and I think it's the bad examples she sees from other kids...while their parents just ignore it.

Now, I am blaming the parents.

Completely.

It's your freakin' responsibility to train your kid- have you seen the Dog Whisperer?  WELL?  Do you think that only applies to dogs?!

You bringing your snot nosed brat to classes and allowing to be rude and cut and push- it's just teaching other kids that it's ok to do that and it makes it so much harder for those of us who actually care about raising our kids.

Ok, This Is Just Neat

This guy needs to be employed by NASA.

How many should I take?

So, I got a prescription yesterday.  The instructions say, "Take as per directions on package".

Ok...

I have to say, though, that something is a bit unnerving about an unknown company telling me how to take the medication instead of my doctor or even the useless people at Walgreens.

Anyway, so I look on the box.

It has the name of the prescription, the manufacturing company, and the storage instructions.

Huh.

And as I imaged have to call Walgreens, AGAIN, to find out what the dosing instructions were, I opened the package and there's a blister pack inside...with tiny writing on it.

Now, I read the instructions on the blister pack and I read the instructions and warnings from Walgreens.  My simple question to you is:

How many am I supposed to take the first day?

Doctor Visits

Today, I've got some sour grapes about doctor visits.  The amount of money that you have to pay to just go see them is getting astronomical- $25 co-pay for General Practitioners.  $35 for specialists.

Now, if the doctor actually does his/her job and makes you better, that's one thing.  But what happens when they just guess and they guess wrong?   Then, when you call them back and tell them that the medication that they prescribed isn't working, they tell you that you ought to be seen- AGAIN.

Like, I'm sorry, but it was $25 to get your bad advice and $20 for the pills.  Now you want me to go and see someone else who will guess, too?

It just seems quite wrong that there is no recourse for the buyer on this one.  It seems to be the only purchase that a person makes that has no purchasing protection- no money back if the doctor was wrong; no credit on your account.

There is absolutely no incentive for the doctors to be good doctors- everyone just continues in their profession as long as they didn't do anything that killed someone.

What a great medical system.

Remove Yourself From Instant Checkmate

This is a truly creepy, unethical site.

I found this site by clicking on a link from WhitePages.com to "view my full details".  While the phony details are loading, the site shows a bunch of quickly scrolling mug shots and messages like, "Completely Private!  Irish Lass will never know that you searched for her!"

Somehow, I don't see how "completely private" and selling my private information are quite the same thing.

They also show checklists like "Sexual Offender, check" and "Criminal Record, check", which makes it seem that the person you are searching has all of these issues, rather than, uhm, NONE.

It's another site that also shows all of your relatives, any previous names you've had, the current value of your house (Not kidding here), and where you live now, so pretty much staking out your house for any wanton thieving.

Great, huh?

So, here's how to remove yourself.

What you'll need:

• Web Browser
• Junk Email 

1. Go to InstantCheckmate.com - see, even the splash page promises to have revealing, criminal activity- the whole site is just slanderous from the beginning

2. You can search for yourself.  Make note of the spelling of your name because they promise not to remove you unless you spell it exactly how they have it.  But the important link is then at the bottom of the page "Remove My Info"

3. Complete the form.  Make sure you fill it out for each alias and alias of your family members listed in the "relatives" section of the previous page, or you might as well put the welcome mat out to the world.  Make sure you use an email that you can get into.  

As much as I hate putting my birthday on these things, you'll notice that this database already has it because your age is correct, so, it's not new information for them.

4. Once you submit the form, you'll get this confirmation page.  I recommend submitting all the forms and then logging in to your email once to do all the clicking.

5. Now, log in to your email and go to your spam folder.  You will see a separate link for every name that you submitted to be removed.  You will need to click the link for each address in order to remove it.  

6. Be sure to keep your emails as proof that you requested to be removed.  If they refuse, it's against the law and we get to sue, so, please, if you find that they do refuse to remove it, or they restore it from a backup and you're still on it, spread the news so that we can all check and get a class action law suit against these assholes.

Another Internet Privacy Site

Well, I've been doing some re-checking of my private information on the web- you know, all of those unethical companies that selling your address, phone, relatives, age, children, background, etc, etc...And I've found a couple of others to remove yourself from, so keep posted this week for those.

However, during one of the searches, I found this website: www.NetworkAdvertising.org

Now, supposedly, you can opt out of all the companies that are registered here.

What does that mean?

It means, supposedly, that your IP address will be off-limits to these companies.  Kind of like a "Do Not Call" list for browsers.

1. Now, when you go to this page, you'll need to click on the tab "All NAI Member Companies".
2. Then check the tiny checkbox at the top of the list to select all companies.
3. Then Submit.
4. You'll get an error message that you can't be removed from them all.
5. Don't worry.
6. Just repeat the steps a couple of times.

I don't know if it works, but I do know that I don't have any ads showing up on my Gmail anymore.

Search Privacy

So, you might have heard about searching "Incognito" on browsers, particularly Chrome.

Well, I found out today that searching "incognito" is not the complete level of browsing privacy.  You do need to change a setting in your browser's Options to make sure that your computer is not sending information to the various websites.

Here's the instructions for Firefox:

1. Click on the Firefox settings menu (if you're running the latest version, this is going to be in the upper left corner with the word "Firefox" and a drop-down arrow.
2. Click on Options.
3. Click on Privacy
4. At the very top, there is a section for "Tracking".  Set this to "Tell sites that I do NOT want to be tracked.
5. Make sure you save the settings.

And here's the instructions for Chrome:

1. Click the Settings menu for Chrome (upper right at the end of the Address Bar- has the obvious "settings' icon of three bars- that's sarcasm)
2. Once you open it, you will need to click the Advanced Settings
   
3. After clicking this, scroll down until you see the Privacy Settings.  
4. Check the last option- to DO NOT TRACK.
   
5. You don't need to click Save because it save automatically.

I'd include IE, but, honestly, who uses that anymore?

Homes Just Aren't Built For Families

Stairs

Why do homes still have stairs?

They're hard to clean.

You trip on them.

They're not handicap accessible.

Nor are they child-friendly.

So, why do homes still have stairs?

Why don't we have ramps, instead?

Seriously!  Why stairs?  It would cost a whole lot less to put a ramp in.

It's just one of those things that has been done in houses for so long, it's "standard practice", but we can't explain why we do it instead of doing it a better way.

The other improvement that houses really need is this:  pocket child gates in the walls.

Honestly, every house ever built will have a child in it at some point.  Why are we in denial about that?  Why are we in denial that children mean children's safety?  Instead of building and planning homes for families, we live in denial about it and make parents go out and buy after-market child safety gates which we have to drill into the walls and woodwork of the home.

I think that everyone would agree that stairs are dangerous- you'd think that if the government really cared about protecting children is claimed, we'd have rules about having on-board, pocket gates at all stairs in houses, just like we have seatbelt laws in cars.  Stairs are just as deadly as a car accident.

Child Car Seat Improvements

Why are child car seats so difficult to get into?

It's not simply the leaning over and hoping that you don't nail your child's head on the door frame of the car- it's trying to find the seat belt parts once you've set your dear one down into the seat.  The way that the 5 point system is put together, your kid ends up sitting on the parts while you awkwardly reach past their flailing limbs to get the straps out, only to then find out that all your maneuvering has had a deleterious effect on their sitting posture in the seat so that they now look even more like a plush animal jammed into the corner.

So, what needs to happen?

Well, I think that the changes need to happen both on the side of car manufacturers and on the car seat manufacturers.


Car seat makers:  honestly!  give us some retracting seatbelts or something!  I could find no documentation anywhere as to why flywheels could not be part of the car seat design.  I mean, they work on adults- why not for children?

Now, this only gets us part way.

Car makers:  it's great that you provide the LATCH system in your back seats to strap the seat in, but why do you make it so that the car seat itself can't flip out of the way, leaving more room for us to put the kid in the car?  I mean, honestly!  Does the car seat need to be strapped on top of another seat?  Wouldn't it make more sense if it weren't strapped on top of a soft, pillowy surface?  Why isn't moving the seat cushion out of the way part of the LATCH system?


You'd think that with car makers trying every new novelty on their designs (now they have an on-board vacuum...), why not make a truly helpful improvement?

CitiMortgage: HARP Scam Continues

Well, I got YET ANOTHER FedEx Letter from CitiMortgage attempting to sell me on their bogus HARP Program.

This should prove to ANYONE that this is a fake offer- no company works for an altruistic purpose.  Businesses exist to make money.  And they stand to gain a great deal MORE money from you if you buy into their HARP Program than if you just leave your mortgage as is.

Now, this should really stand out as a warning to people because mortgage companies make a great deal of money off of you in interest.  This bait-and-switch offer stands to make them EVEN MORE MONEY than their current monthly interest payment or they wouldn't continue to send FedEx letters, which are quite expensive, to someone who has already unveiled their con.

Think about it.

Weather Belongs to the Government

It's raining in Minnesota today.

Naturally, I'm interested to see how long it's going to rain and if there's a risk of frost so that I might cover my last crop of tomatoes overnight.

So, I navigate over to NOAA.gov because they seem to be right, most of the time.

This is the National Weather Service's site, so it's where every other news channel goes to get their weather information, as well.

However, when I went there today, I got this message:

So, evidently, weather reporting is a government function and if the government shuts down for a day, they won't leave up the last prediction set with the posting date and time.

This seems to me to be someone who is a little miffed at being not paid for the day and is demonstrating an "I'll show you" moment.

For the rest of us, I guess we'll only find out about the weather if it's an emergency because the people remaining behind to report on hurricanes and tornadoes evidently can't tell you that it's going to be rainy and mid-50s today.

Reply to All

I think that this is the one function that really ought to be disabled in email...at least for everyone EXCEPT the originating author.

The rules of email say that you should never Reply to All, anyway unless you're the author because the author is the one that has asked for your feedback- not everyone else that was unfortunate enough to be listed on the CC list.

And I have found that the larger the CC list, more likely it is that people, who would normally remain silent, feel compelled to add their two worthless comments in the Biblically long email.  And the comments are always things like:

"I agree"

or

"I'm good with that"

or

"I'm free at 2 also" (no comma)

or...the one I ABSOLUTELY HATE:

"Thanks!!!!!!!"

It seems that the longer the CC list, the more exclamation points are birthed at the end of the globally beneficent "Thanks".

Let me tell you as someone who has to wade through the shotgun-style email blasts like panning for a possible gold nugget:

You're all a bunch of freakin' morons.

Please, for the love of all that is brief:

DO NOT REPLY TO ALL WITH YOUR PATS ON THE BACK OR ATTEMPT TO USE EMAIL AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR, GEE, MEETING TO DISCUSS SOMETHING.

Email is not a forum.

Email is a letter.

Please don't use up my valuable inbox bits with your CC reply vomit.  It makes me want to spam you back something fierce.

Tech Support

Just a word on Tech Support...

Generally, these are underpaid young men who don't care what your problem is because they are in the middle of playing Gears of War 8 on their computers are work....That's if they're American.  Once you manage to get through the "You're bothering me" mentality, they're usually able to help.

But that's only if you manage to contact them.

Generally, companies put their Contact Us? number on the header or footer of their websites.  BUT NOT ANYMORE.  This ultra-boiled down, hide everything from the user Look and Feel means that trying to find the Tech Support number becomes a little bit of an exercise in detective work.

But the WORST example of hiding the Tech Support number has got to be WebEx.  They have "Help" and "Contact Us" buttons all over, but you have to actually log in to view the number!

Now, I understand where companies are going with this next hurdle that you have to overcome before actually addressing your problem, but, did they really think this through?

I mean, it reminds me of the other classic Tech Support scenario where you say you can't log in to your email and they say that they're emailing you instructions.  It's just as "helpful" and definitely makes me want to do business with a different business.

Can You Do This Math?

Today, I went to get my hair done.

Since it's a full hair highlighting by a pro, it's $100, which is shockingly on the cheap side nowadays.  At the end of the appointment, I was rather unethically told that the prices had gone up to $115.  When I looked shocked and repeated back, "$115?" the receptionist said that the prices had gone up "3 to 5 percent for the whole salon".

Now, this made me quite ticked...for two reasons.

One, yes, the price went up.

Two, they didn't notify me during ANY of the reminder emails or phone calls that the price had gone up, nor did they discuss it when I entered the salon, nor while I was sitting down to get my hair done.

But the part that REALLY pissed me off was this:

The difference from $100 to $115 is, uhm, 15%!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's not 3-5%, which would be $103 to $105.

When I pointed out this mathematical discrepancy, the woman (no, she was a brunette) cocked her head and actually said, "huh?"

And while it disgusted me to have this thought cross my mind because of the prejudicial nature of it, I had it none the less, which was, "So, this is why you're working at as a salon receptionist...because you can't figure out the percentage on $100?"

At least I didn't say it.

But I really wanted to.

Mickey

So, my husband was pointing out the question to my daughter today:

"Yeah...do you think it's strange that a mouse has a dog for a pet?"

Overlooking the obviously upsetting point about putting bounds around my daughter's imagination, it did make me think of this question:

When you got to Disneyland, Mickey is big- like an adult.  However, in all the books and cartoons, you always see human's knees at his eye-level...

...in other words, kid-sized.

So, why is it that he's big at Disneyland?  Would it be more appropriate to have Mickey played by small people?

The Shell Game

I have to say- the new Gmail and YahooMail designs make me think of the shell game...

You know, "Where's the bead?"

What happen to all of my controls!?  You morons have removed the obvious controls for people that required a single click to execute and moved them under a series of menus which require multiple clicks to get to, for example, my calendar.  

It used to be I could just click one button- now it's at least 3!  And that's only if you know where you're going!

You've completely forgotten how to be good designers for your customers.  

And it's to the point that I now am refusing to use EITHER of your sites.  I would rather use Windows Live Mail than Gmail...and that's saying something because Windows products are filled with tons of usage issues.

But all of that is better than stumbling around in a constantly boiled down webdesign.

Don't Read The Fine Print

  I found this ad in the newspaper on Sunday advertising an orange-colored, "natural flavored vanilla" milk.

The gist of the ad is that there is a product that is "natural"...without hormones, without corn syrup....and even 35% less sugar!

But I have to ask you:  if you're looking for something healthy for your child to drink (I assume this is for kids, because I can't imagine any adult drinking a "natural flavored vanilla" orange milk), are you really going to buy into this product as being the ideal choice?

I mean:

1. Milk that's orange...uhm, food coloring?
2. 35% less sugar...I looked at the fine print and the chocolate milk as 18g of sugar PER SERVING.  They don't even disclose how much is in the vanilla version.  And they DON'T describe the serving size.
3. While the orange one is "naturally flavored", they don't make (can't make) the same claim about the chocolate one.

So....

uhm, Yum?  

I guess I shouldn't be too quick to judge...after all, I did enjoy a few glasses of banana Quik in my childhood.

But, I think I will be passing on this as a choice for my family.

Tag Clouds

This has got to be one of the most useless widgets invented.  If you haven't seen one:

Someone please tell me:  how are these useful?  They function by counting the number of times words appear on a website- the more often the word appears, the bigger the font of the word in the tag cloud.

So, they don't capture ideas at all- they're just counting the number of times the word appears on the site.

When you click on a word in the tag cloud, honestly, what are you expecting to happen?  I would expect that you would go to a search results page with all instances of the word listed out as if you'd searched for the word.

So, then my next question is this:  every website seems to have these now and the words that are in the cloud...well, I'd never use the search function on a website to search for "learning", for example.

Nor "students"

Nor "Technology"

These are just lame.  Please stop using them.  And it's not just my opinion- all of my clients think they're lame, too.

Education Book Thinks Test Scores Are Real

WELL...I was looking through the new additions on Amazon for coloring books for my daughter this book came up:  The Reign of Error by Diane Ravitch.

Now, intrigued by the pun, I had to click on the book title.

When I read the subtitle being against the privatization of education, I felt I had to read this.

It turns out that the author agrees that the presidential farce called "No Child Left Behind" is an education, and educator, damning law that can only result in the downfall of education.

However, her basis for debasing this law resides in graduations rates and test scores.

Now, this woman has never been a teacher.

She can't have.

Otherwise, she's understand that grade inflation and passing students is the only way that teachers survive and remain employed.

It's also obvious that this woman has never been an educator of any kind because she believes test scores.

What test scores should tell you is this:  the school districts scoring well are cheating; the ones failing just don't have the smarts to cheat.

But she's evidently an "expert" because she was an assistant Secretary of Education.

In other words, a secretary.

To someone who might have had some sway over political policies because of friendship with someone in power.

Where does the idea of education come into play anywhere in there?

Anyone who thinks that the US public school system ISN'T broken doesn't have a child in it and probably went to private school themselves.

The Problem With Toilet Seat Covers

So, I was pretty excited about the idea of these toilet seat covers for kids...

They're foamy.
They're thick.
There's tape on them so they stay in place.
And, heck, they're even big enough to fit the industrial-sized oblong public toilet.

It all sounds good.

What I didn't consider was this:

They have Cookie Monster and Big Bird and Elmo on them.

What do little kids want to do with things that have Sesame Street characters on them?

They want to touch.

So, it kind of back-fired on me that when I put down the nice, clean potty surface for my daughter, all she wanted to do was try to pull it off and hug it.

UGHUGHGUGHUH!

And, no, they DON'T make any character-free toilet seat covers.

Evidently, these people don't have kids.

You Know It's Been A Week When

1. Your tomato plants are being drowned by the deluge outside,
2. You get done writing roughly 300 defects on a project for work that you weren't supposed to have to test,
3. Your house smells like wood stain and bacon, 
4. And when you finally sit down to relax with your knitting, you realize that after an inch of 396 stitches (in other words, thousands of stitches), you have a twist in row 1 of your brand new project, which means that, no matter how beautifully you made the stitches, you can either pull the needles on the whole thing, or slice open the stitches and sew them on the sewing machine.

It just is kind of the epitome of the week.

Still In Search of Children's Potties

And yet another place that you'd think would have a child's size potty:  the Children's Museum.

Alas, struck out again.

Reorganizing Groceries

So, American grocery stores seem to have a particular configuration:  all of the healthy food around the perimeter of the store and all the processed food in the aisles.

It's true of EVERY grocery store I've ever been in.

I think it's because processed food comes in boxes and cans, which stack well on shelves...whereas produce needs a custom shelf/display...and milk and eggs need to be refrigerated, which is much easier along the perimeter.

And for the past 10, perhaps 20 years, the supermarket-sized grocery stores have also set aside space for "green" or "organic" groceries.

Now, I don't buy a lot of organic foods (somehow I feel this is a bit of hypocritical thing to do since I was a gene surgeon, myself), but this is also where the gluten-free items have been housed, so I visit it often.

Well, the local Cub Foods grocery, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to not only integrate all of the organic and specialty foods with the other foods in the store, but to move them into obscure places.

For example:  The frozen gluten-free bread is now in between the frozen pizzas and the frozen entrees.

Thanks makes sense, right?  Right in the middle of everything glutenous and unhealthy?

And the gluten-free flours are on the middle shelf of the baking aisle, right below the Pillsbury cake flour (uhm, GLUTEN?!?) and between the "whole grain" flours.

Nice, planning, huh?

It's about a great as hiding the organic Sunbutter (which is just nasty, but it is peanut-free) amongst the peanut butters.

Evidently, the grocery store planners are unaware that peanut allergies can be inhaled, so any broken jar of PB and it's DOA for the someone shopping peanut-free.

While gluten-free is not as dramatic as aliphatic shock, I still won't be buying any of their contaminated products.

Child IVs

Why do nurses put IVs in children's hands?

Not only is this a particularly OBVIOUS place for children to want to dismantle them, but it's a choking hazard in the middle of the night.

Who thought this was a good idea?

I know, let's strap a 3 foot cord to the kid's hand and watch them wrap it around their throats at night.

Great idea.

IVs can be put in the foot.

Then, at least, you could cover it up while you're cooped up in the little hospital rooms AND, let's face it, unless you're a contortionist, you're not going to choke yourself in the middle of the night.

You'd think that a children's hospital would think of these things instead of balking when you ask for the IV to be put in a foot, but that hasn't been my experience.