So, I'm deciding to write this blog, not because I'm good at keeping a diary, but because I'm finding that I have a lot to say about the working world.  I just had a daughter in February.  I'm in my late 30s and am finding that the world is not allowing me to set my own priorities in life.

For example:
After 51 hours of ACTIVE labor (not that prelabor nonsense, the contractions-every-three-minutes labor), I ended up with an emergency C-section to give birth to my daughter.  I'd like to consider myself a bit of a hippy/nature spirit; certainly wanted to give birth naturally and I tried my hardest, but it wasn't happening.

Now that I have my daughter, she is the most important thing in my life.  Yeah, I used to say I understood when other parents would tell me that, but I really didn't get it. Now I get it.  So, being that she's the most important thing in my life, I refuse to just dump her at a daycare center and let other people "raise" her with electronic appeasement toys.  I want to be home with her.  I want to see her go through her day of wondrous experiences.

However, we're a two income society.  On top of that, we're a society in which one parent MUST be in IT or you can't pay for groceries, much less the rent/mortgage.  I am that person in our family.  I have a fantastic husband who is an animation artist and I have never wanted him to do this terrible IT job because, let's face it, IT sucks.  He enjoys what he does and I think it's great.  It has been fabulous up until the point that we had a daughter.  We had plenty of money, and who cared if I had to work on the laptop during the football game instead of paying attention to him?

NOW, we have a daughter.  I don't want to, nor does my health permit me to, work overtime.  I can't even make it through a 40 hour work week.  I'm that fantastic race horse that has been "blown" and now is out to pasture...or I would like to be.  The IT world doesn't respect parents.  The respect breastfeeding even less (no, I can't wait another hour to pump at work- there are two milk bladders attached to my chest and they're leaking now!)  I keep trying to find either a remove/virtual job, or a job-share.  I don't think I'm the first mom or dad to want such a thing.

But, I can't find it.

I'm treated like I am speaking a different language when I ask.

WHY DO WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY WHERE, IN ORDER TO AFFORD A KID, YOU HAVE TO GO TO WORK FULL TIME AND NOT SPEND TIME WITH THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE????

This makes no sense.  Children aren't little video games or pets that we get to make ourselves feel better and spend time with them as we want to- they're people!  Parents used to drag their kids along with them to whatever job they did- most places in the world, they still do!  But in America, since we "value" our children so much and we ship them off to some daycare every day, we create holders and all sorts of distancing devices to keep ourselves from bonding with our children.  I was at Barnes & Noble and actually watched a mom pushing a stroller with a screaming kid in it, just continue to push it back and forth.  Like, uhm, PICK UP YOUR CHILD!  IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU!?

So, I guess this blog is going to be a bit about everything in my life.  My grievances for today are:
1.  Why can't I have a part time job so I can raise my child?
2.  Why can't we live without having both parents work? (F-ing feminists)
3.  Why won't people PICK UP THEIR CHILDREN WHEN THEY CRY!?

wah!