Snips and Snails

I've noticed a disgusting trend has been growing since the 1920s:

EVERYTHING that is intended for girls is in pink or pastels

EVERYTHING that is intended for boys is in blue or primary colors.

Nursery items are in taupes and grays.

I find this disgusting because YEARS of child development research by Franklin and Zenter* has shown that ALL babies prefer PRIMARY colors.

That would be Red, Blue, and Yellow (though Green is allowable because it's a primary light hue).

In fact, it's critical for proper brain development to have primary colors.  Pastels and gray hues do not allow for the infant brain to develop properly.

SO WHY DO PEOPLE BUY THESE DRAB COLORS FOR THEIR BABIES!?

and more to the point:

Why do you force a girl to have pink and pastels instead of primary colors?!?

There is actual research by these famous developmental scientists showing that babies who are exposed to primary colors learn faster and read faster.  Those who are given pastels do not engage in the world well and have difficultly learning the basics.

So, basically, society is setting up women, well, girls, to fail by preventing them from having the enriching childhood that boys are given.  I find this particularly sickening because girls learn faster and develop faster than boys.

They also, statistically, out live boys.

But, believe it or not, I frankly don't care what gender your child is- I think you should be looking for the best opportunities that you can give them.  The most enriching toys, the most promising educational option...

In this line of thinking, I purchased a knock off of Lego Duplo blocks called Mega Bloks.  They work almost as well as Duplos- same bright primary colors and most of the same shapes.  There are cute little pictures of toddlers (two boys and a girl) playing with the blocks on the packaging.

Then I opened up the packaging.

There are four toy figurines that come with the set.  While one could hardly say that Duplos are gender specific toys, ALL FOUR OF THE FIGURES ARE MALE.

I find this disturbing.

But what I found more disturbing was that there is actually a "girls" set of these Mega Bloks- they are pink and purple.

Oh Joy!  Just think of the monochromatic shapes we can make.

Now, I didn't purchase the "girls" set because the whole idea is LAME!  My sister has Duplos as a kid and they were the primary colors.  The thought of only presenting toys in pinks and purples to my kid because she's a girl really upsets me.  So, again, while I didn't purchase the "girls" set of Mega Bloks, I'm just betting that all of the figurines in that set are female.

I have to really smack this company and this toy for the obvious gender bias that they're perpetuating with these blocks.  But I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  Any educational toy manufacturer ought to be ashamed of using misspelled words in its product title.


*Franklin, A., Bevis, L., Ling, Y., & Hurlbert, A. (2010). Biological components of color preference
in infancy. Developmental Science, 21, 346–354.
Franklin, A., Pitchford, N., Hart, L., Davies, I. R., Clausse, S., & Jennings, S. (2008). Salience of
primary and secondary colours in infancy. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 26,
471–483.Zentner,
 M. R. (2001). Preferences for colours and colour-emotion combinations in early
childhood. Developmental Science, 4, 389–398

Bandaids

So, my daughter has an incision from her surgery.

It's a lot like other incisions- it's open, it's leaky...

It needs a bandaid.

Or any disposable adhesive strip, to be fair.

I've been using up these old Disney Beauty and the Beast Bandaids that I got for a gift when the Disney film came out.  I have a way of holding on to neat things like that and not using them...I'm more of a have your cake person.  I have a ton of Sanrio pencils and erasers that I never sharpened as a child because I didn't want to use them up.  I had a Crayola crayon caddy full of 64 lovely Crayola crayons that I arranged in rainbow order....and never used because I didn't want to use them up (I still have them, actually- you can see the line on the paper where they sat in the caddy and didn't get bleached by the sun.)

Anyway, the bandaids.

Well, the great thing about those character bandaids is that they don't really stick very well. This is honestly one of the reasons why I still had some of the old Disney bandaids; fabric bandaids has come out at the same time, and those actually stuck REALLY well...well, they used to.

But I figured that the already decremented stickness of a character bandaid plus age, would be a great, low-stick bandaid for my daughter's owie.

And it was.

And there were only 10 of the 1" size in the box.

So, once we ran through those 10, we started using the 1" fabric ones- the generic ones from Target.  They also had a history of not sticking to anything.

They worked ok- a little harder to peal off than the character bandaids, but still not difficult.  So, then when we ran through those, I went to Target to get some more...

...and how surprised was I to find that not only could I NOT buy the 1" bandaids outside of the combo pack, BUT ALL OF THE BANDAIDS ARE ANTIBACTERIAL NOW!

This is wrong on multiple levels.

I actually stood in the store dumbounded a bit looking at the bandaids.  All of them:  Bandaid brand and the generics and Curad and 3M brand; fabric and plastic- all of them antibacterial.

The ONLY ones that didn't have the antibacterial on them were the character bandaids!

So, my big question to the manufacturers is this:  if you are allergic to these antibacterial products, what are you supposed to use for a bandaid?!

And that's not scratching the surface of the problem with breeding antibacterial resistant bacteria!  This ubiquitous antibacterial non-sense is EXACTLY what creates these super germs!  AND it weakens your own immune system because it doesn't have to work to get rid of these germs....until the antibacterials don't work- then, well, then you might be in a life or death situation.

So, while two bandaids will be required to cover my daughter's cut, at least it's just a plain bandaid.

Customer Service

I have to give it to Fisher Price.

When I wrote the blog about the Laugh and Learn House, pointing out how dangerous it can be and how uneducational, I thought I was just wasting my breath.

But I received an email response from Fisher Price customer service indicating that they would buy back the Laugh and Learn House for the full market price.

I was skeptical (and mad that the big Santa gift didn't work out), but I decided to take them up on the offer.

I was really expecting them to say, "Thanks for sending back the house- here's a coupon on another purchase."  But yesterday, I received the check back for the full market price.

It's completely different from my experience with LeapFrog and the My Discovery House.  I got a response back from them, too:

"Sorry that the My Discovery House didn't live up to your expectations.  We hope that your other LeapFrog purchases are more successful in the future."

When I replied that I felt that LeapFrog should really return my money, they said that if I had the original receipt, I could attempt to return it to the store under their return policy.

So, I expect to be making more purchases from Fisher Price- and very few purchases in the future from LeapFrog.

Grounding Out Diaper Smell

Ok, forgive me the kitchy title.

I honestly have to say that this is one of the best ideas I've come up with:  put your coffee grounds in your disposable diaper pail to get rid of the smell.

I got the idea from a combination of things: to get rid of ants, you sprinkle coffee grounds along the ant trail and they lose their way back to the nest (thereby making them easier to kill off), and you smell coffee grounds in perfume shops between smelly spritzes.

Honestly, it does work.

Though it works much better with wet coffee grounds than dry coffee grounds.

And, no, it doesn't seem to matter if it's caf or decaf- you mask the poo smell all the same.

Tough to Watch

I like watching the Mythbusters.

I really became a fan back in the early years when I saw this show based in San Fran with two guys eating poppy seed muffins to see if poppy seeds really did give a positive test for cocaine in your urine.  (The answer, by the way, is yes).

I think the show has really fallen off in recent years- the inclusion of the B Teams really marked the end to truly candid, scientific TV, and the inclusion of the B Teams has left many shows with either a gross-out factor or just shootin' sh!t up to watch it explode.

Not a lot of science in either of those forums.

However, it looks like seasons 8 and 9 got Jamie and Adam back on track with more scientific  questions and a lot more "well, we need to make sure we set up the experiment right."

And definitely fewer guns and explosions.

So, I was shocked to discover how difficult, NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE this experiment was to watch:

Taking Candy from A Baby

At first, I was just really upset that they were giving lollipops to children under the age of two- even 6 months old!  And the mothers were ok with this!?

And then:

OH MY GOD!

I had to stop it several times during the short segment because I JUST COULDN'T STAND WATCHING THEM PISS THOSE KIDS OFF!

And the bigger question:  How could their MOTHERS let their babies be purposefully upset like that!?

HONESTLY!

Do they really think that their kid is going to become famous just because of a cameo on a TV show?

IV Tape

It's been a week since we got our daughter home from the hospital.

A week since she's had the IV out.

And it's been a week of attempting to remove the remnants of the IV tape.

That stuff is nasty.

I've had my own experiences with the IV tape and after several days of scrubbing with those Brillo pad bath puffs, I resort to scraping it off with my fingernails.

Of course, I'm not going to scratch it off my infant daughter.  So, instead, we tried:

Soap & water= uhm, right.  No combination of soap and water is going to get this stuff off.  That goes for dish soap (like Dawn) to bath and hand soaps.

Lotion= Got some reaction from the tape lines, but it was more that it just got slick with lotion.

Baby Powder= especially at the beginning, we thought perhaps it would allow us to ball up the tape.  The answer there is, no.

Alcohol= You'd think if something isn't water-soluble, it would be alcohol-soluble.  But, even scrubbing with an old sock instead of a cotton ball, lead to one pissed off little kid...with tape on her.

I actually broke down and asked the pharmacist at Walgreens when we picked up her prescription.  I thought perhaps they would have heard something good.  She recommended Goo-Be-Gone.

Sorry, put I'm not putting toxic solvents on my infant daughter, though for an adult I thought I might try that if I needed to in the future.

Goop= Being motorcyclists, my husband and I have the need of getting greasy occasionally   He's got this soap-free hand cleaner called Goop that we tried.  It was actually able to remove some small part of it, but it took a great deal of rubbing with an old sock to get anywhere.  And, yes, it is safe to use on children, per the packaging, but I was a little concerned by how much  would be safe for children.

Finally, I was putting Aquaphor on my daughter's teething-rash cheeks and I decided to rub some of that on there.

Worked like a charm.  No real rubbing required.  Just rub in the ointment and the tape comes right off.  And definitely child safe.  And, unlike Vaseline, Aquaphor absorbs into the skin, so we didn't have to worry about the greasy petroleum getting all over her clothes or preventing another bandaid from sticking.

So, we finally found something that is child-safe and removes IV tape.

Would You Work For This Company?

So, I've been doing some interviewing. Mostly screening interviews with HR to see if this is really the job I want.

Most of the times, they tell you something heinous that they specifically omitted from the requisition that would deflect anyone submitting their resume.  Like, "So, how are you with working in an environment with challenging personalities?"

Uhm, what are you HONESTLY supposed to say to that!?

"So, this position requires a mandatory Saturday rotation."

WHAT!?

"This position pays 20,000 less than the market rate for the same job.  Are you still interested?"

Why would I be?

So, when I got an email from a local educational company asking for a screening interview, I took it with a grain of salt.  She sent me two emails:  one to confirm the meeting time and one to confirm at which phone number to call me.

And then she sent a meeting invite with the time slot.

And then she sent a meeting updating the time.

And then she sent a meeting updating the time.

And then she sent a meeting updating the time.

And then she sent a meeting updating the time back to the original time.

Now, this wouldn't be so terrible if I was interviewing with a CXO or someone on Wallstreet, or even if the interview was days away.  I mean, things happen.  But the timeline went something like this:


And then she sent a meeting invite with the time slot.  11:30 AM

And then she sent a meeting updating the time.  11:31 AM

And then she sent a meeting updating the time.  11:34 AM

And then she sent a meeting updating the time.  11:36 AM

And then she sent a meeting updating the time back to the original time. 11:40 AM


But I was interviewing at an educational company- with the recruiter.  It was HER schedule. A senior recruiter pulling this non-sense!

Alas, that was not the end of it.

The same recruiter sent me three more meeting changes the next day with in 5 minutes of each other to change the meeting time, and then back again.

And then there's the phone number issue.

Now, I put my phone number on my resume like most people- at the top on the home page.  But I also put it in the footer of every page.  So, when the same Sr. Recruiter asked me the first time what number to call, I thought that was normal.

When she asked a second time- I thought that was a bit forgetful.

Now she's asked 10 times what number to call.

THERE'S ONLY ONE PHONE NUMBER!

AND the best part was that when she called for our meeting, she called some other number!  I sat waiting for 10 minutes because I emailed her to ask her if we were still meeting, only for her to ask, AGAIN what phone number to call.

I kid you not.  This actually happened.

To top it all off, when we got finished with the interview, she asked me, not once, but TWICE what phone number to have the hiring manager call.

...and then she told the hiring manager some other number and we got to repeat this charade all over again.

So, honestly, would you even consider working for this company?

Something You'll Never Seen Advertised Here....

The Kindle

or any other electronic "book".

Perhaps it's that I'm addicted to book mold.

Perhaps it's that I'm just old fashioned.

Perhaps this is just a continuation of my absolute abhorrence to how preschools are using tablets and iphones instead of books to teach children.

But I _despite_  the Kindle.

If I'm going to curl up to read a book, it's going to be- uhm- a BOOK.  I do too much reading of online stuff as it is.  Reading a book electronically seems like it's more along the lines of work than reading for pleasure.  I honestly don't understand the attraction.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm a tree lover and write on both sides of post-it notes.

I don't buy books that I won't keep- that's what a library is for.

I recycle the cardboard from the toilet paper.

I will carry back empty bottles if there's no recycling when we're out- even on vacation.

But there's just something about reading  A BOOK on an electronic screen that just seems wrong.

Yes, I have tried it.  I find that my eyes automatically slip into "work mode" where I just end up reading the first and last sentences of every page... and scan the rest of the words for some word that sticks out as important.  It seems like it's the equivalent to running through a museum with horse blinders on and saying you enjoyed going.  It just doesn't to the art form the time and respect that the authors put into writing.

iChildren

Its really quite disturbing how many people placate their infants and young children by letting them play with their tablets and phones.  Not only is this really age inappropriate, but it also trains children that the most important, fascinating things in the world are on a little box with flashing lights.  I walked through Target last week during the Mommy hour (that's usually around 10am when all the moms are out with their non-school aged kids), and each of the kids I saw in a cart had their mother's phone or tablet.  They all had their heads down, all transfixed by the flashing lights.

What about the real world!?

I find this also particularly stupid because cell phone studies showed that repeated exposure to the radio frequency/electromagnetic field produced by the lithium batteries causes cancer.  These studies were originally conducted in Amsterdam and then repeated by researchers in Australia because of the large public outcry of disbelief.

Well, I don't know about you but my first choice in toys is not a cancer-causing light box for my baby.

From WWW.EWG.ORG 

There is also the damage done to the eyes and brain that has been proven, and not just to the retinas, but also the lack in change of focal planes (this is focusing on something close, then something far away).

How many of our children are now going to require glasses for near-sightedness because they were given tablets and phones to play with as children?

Then I hear the arguments about the educational benefits of using tablets and phone apps at an infant and toddler age.

I'm sorry, WHAT!?

What could your toddler or infant possibly need to learn on a computer that they can't learn by actually interacting with it!?  I find it particularly sickening that the Preschools in Eden Prairie offer curricula that is CENTERED around tablet apps.

CENTERED!

Why don't we just all go play on the high power lines!

It's like, where are the Foible blocks!?

Where are the flash cards?!

Where are the nature walks or just looking around the room and interacting with the world around you!?


It's positively sickening.  It's another reason by Eden Prairie is NOT a good place to live (ahem, Money Magazine with your stupid article).  I hope that the large amounts of brain damage that ensues from children using tablets at an early age doesn't spread beyond their own miserable existence.  Perhaps my daughter will become president because she'll know what a plant actually looks like.

Perpetuating Their Own Importance

I recently recently purchased a new laptop- wee, right?  I would say it doesn't quite live up to the last one I purchased.  The last one I purchased, a Vostro 1500, was indestructible   I dropped it several times, dropped things on it several times, and it kept going.  The keyboard was the contiguous keyboard (where all the keys touch) and the mouse pad worked great.  It was just old, so I replaced it with a newer Vostro.

It has a chiclet keyboard so that food and other garbage gets stuck between the keys.

The shielding on the case is so thin that that the mouse often jumps around the screen, just when I bring my hands to touch the mouse pad.

But as frustrating as this new laptop is, there is one feature that I've liked...until now.

The fingerprint sign-in.

Despite having sliced open my fingers before with putty knives, metal cans, and serrated kitchen spatulas, I thought that having a fingerprint sign-in was a great idea.  And I've loved being able to one-handedly swipe my finger and get into my computer.  Particularly when I'm trying to balance something else (or someone else) in my other hand.

But my cats have decided to teach me a lesson I should have already known about fingerprints:  they don't really last forever.

Whilst attempting to fend off one of my beloved companions in the middle of the night, I found myself craddling a very bloody, very deeply scratched index finger.  The next morning, when I went down to my laptop, I opened up the lid, and thought,


"ERRRRRRRRRRRR"

As my fingerprint was completely hidden in a bandaid, I was glad that there was also a password entry option into the system.

Now that I have the bandaid off, it is obvious that the fingerprint will never be the same.  There is a big long seam through the center of it, so it is (rightly so) not recognized as the same fingerprint.

Once into my system, I went looking for the fingerprint reader software to update the fingerprint.  After all, I am  an administrator on my own machine.

Well, the instructions for resetting the fingerprint were fantastic.  I mean really stellar.

Step 1:  Scan your registered fingerprint.
Step 2:  Scan your new fingerprint.

o_O

I sat dumbfounded.  I couldn't believe Step 1!  I mean, I only scratched my finger- what happens to people that more permanently lose their fingerprints (in, like, a whole finger kind of way?)  Gruesome, but honestly a problem here!

I searched the internet.

Same glorious instructions.

I contacted Dell Support.

The only solution to this problem is a BIOS reset of the passwords in the system.  They offered to do this for me...by having me let them log into the system and just do it.  The last time I called Dell and let them run an Active-X/Remote Session, they blacked out the screen and I lost all communication with them.  I had to hard restart my laptop.  This time, I refused and told the agent that they would just have to walk me through it.

I think that the sound of o_O could be heard half way around the world.  The agent gave me some high level instructions, "You need to set the BIOS administrator password, erase the BIOS administrator password, and then reactivate the fingerprint software.".

It was obvious to me that this agent was just like 99% of all other IT Support and Developers I've met.  They really like to perpetuate the importance of their own existence.  Have you ever noticed how they NEVER want to tell you what they're doing in your system?  I don't know if it's ego or what, but they ALWAYS, hide the monitor from you (if they can), pull up a bunch of windows to hide what they're actually doing, and when you ask what they're doing or to walk you through it, they act like it's so impossibly difficult to explain, you'd have to be a computer Einstein to grasp the simplest of steps.

Having been a professor, a scientist, a graphic artist, and now IT BA, I think that I'm pretty much capable of learning anything, if they only walked you through it like a reasonable person.  I think about all of the testiness that is shown to you when something "bad" happens on a computer- like a blue screen- or even something dumb like forgetting your password.  IT Support must deal with these issues REPEATEDLY, and often REPEATEDLY from the same people.  

Gee, wouldn't it be grand if they just told you how to troubleshoot some of these steps yourself?  Like, "when you see a blue screen, write down the numeric code that comes up so that you can report it to us."

Or

"This is the temp folder to check for your opened work if you system crashes while you're working on something."

But as a group, 99% of them, whether by code or by mass agreement, choose to keep other people ignorant so that you have to keep going back to them for the same sorts of problems. Just think what they could do with their time if they actually cared enough to teach you how to take care of your own computer.

A Surprising Find

One of the gifts my daughter got for her birth party was a Gund Teddy Bear.  It was a typical looking cream-colored bear, but it had a velcro strap on the back so you could attach it to a crib and it played music.

Honestly, I thought, "errr, great".

We didn't actually remove it from the box for months.

I finally decided that I should at least let her see it.  I tried strapping it to the crib and...

She was ambivalent about it.

For months, we had it in her play box and gave it to her occasionally  She found the music buttons in the back of the bear and figured out how to turn them on.  It was really cute.  One of the buttons is a volume button, so she had fun turning up the volume every time we turned it down.

When I was packing for the hospital, I grabbed the bear because it was soft and wasn't one of her favorites- so, if it got dirty, well, it wouldn't really matter.

But the little bear has become one of her favorites.  Perhaps it always was and we just didn't notice.  She absolutely loves curling her fingers through the fur and it's almost exactly her size at 101/2 months, so I'm sure that it feels good have someone to cuddle with that is about your own size.  She looks like the little bear in Country Bear Jamboree.

I'm personally really impressed with the audio tracks- they're very good.  We have a couple of other "soothing" musical toys and their audio tracks sound like kid toys.  This one sounds like it's a real recording of the ocean or a forest or a heartbeat.  The music tracks loop, but they are well written, so it doesn't sound like the song ever ends and starts again, which is nice.  And the audio stops after 15 minutes, which is nice.

I know that it was not intended to be a teddy bear for a baby to cuddle with, but if it wasn't meant for cuddling, why make it furry and cuddly?  And if it was meant for cuddling, why make the buttons easy for a baby to use?

Gluten Free and Gluten Safe

I have been gluten intolerant for most of my life.

I just didn't know it.

Growing up, I had never heard of anything like being allergic to bread.  I think of all the "healthy" foods I was trying to eat in high school (pastas, sandwiches, crackers, etc) and I would have been better off just eating candy and potato chips.

It's what you call ironic.

When I got diagnosed, I was a literally a month away from turning 21.  I was really sick and the doctors could not identify why.  Finally, this old GI doc did an intestinal biopsy (oh, yeah, it was "fun") and diagnosed me with Celiac Sprue.  When he called on the phone, that's all he said, "you have Celiac Sprue".

Like, uhm, what!?

After a very painful, teary investigation of what I was now allowed to eat, I found my self on a regiment of tapioca pudding and rice cakes.  That and some baked potatoes- that was about all I knew I could eat.

This was WAY before the days of googling something.

This was WAY before the days of "GLUTEN FREE!" labels on packages.

I had to learn everything the hard way- mostly reading medical journal articles on what celiac sprue was and what could be done about it.  Many hours in the medical library at the university pulling dusty volumes off the shelves.  Thank goodness my job was there, anyway!

What I found (boiled down) was this:
Celiac Disease/Celiace Sprue/Gluten Intolerance is an allergy to gluten.

This is completely different than gluten sensitive, which is not an allergic reaction at all.  People who are gluten sensitive could eat wheat without ensuing a whole-body illness for weeks on end.

Products in the US have been ramping up their advertising for being "Gluten Free".  This is actually quite a tricky statement.  Most of the products that we eat are naturally gluten free.  Fresh fruits and vegetables, coffee, rice, nuts- I've seen the strangest things as advertised to be gluten free- they naturally ARE!

But Gluten Free does not mean Gluten Safe.  Gluten is two part molecule (think of Legos) found ONLY in wheat.  But those of us with Gluten Intolerance cannot have Wheat OR Barley OR Rye...and we can't have any of those hybrids, either.  We can't eat any grass/cereal grains that are grown in fields with wheat, or rotated in fields with wheat because the contamination is so high.  This includes Quinoa, Amaranth, Sorghum, Teff, Oats, Buckwheat, or Millet.

Products sold by Pamela's ARE NOT gluten safe.  They are gluten free, but they are made with Sorghum and Millet.  (Millet, by the way, is a grain you should avoid if you have hypothyroidism).  Similarly, products by Bob's often contain oats, which are on the gluten free, but not gluten-safe list.  They're fine if you're eating gluten-free because of Autism or some other non-immune problem.

The only retail products I've found that have an entire line of truly gluten free and gluten safe foods are Glutino and Kinnikinnick.  All of the products I've seen by these manufacturers are made with rice and tapioca flours.  Glutino pretzels are fantastic. Kinnikinnick has a fantastic white sandwich bread (freezer section).  Udi's also makes some good products, but their entire line is not gluten safe.  And their frozen foods are expensive and TERRIBLE.  They're like eating foods bought at a gas station. (I tried to contact customer service to complain, but they just said, "Thanks for purchasing our products.  Sorry you didn't like them.").

Now, it turns out that the US has finally declared those with severe food allergies disabled.  It's about time.  Our fates are in the hands of those around us and we often become sick because people just don't know- or frankly don't care.  But if you've got a food allergy, you know what it's like to be in a meeting and have to get up suddenly because your supposedly safe lunch turned out to not be safe.

In summary, gluten free products are not always gluten safe products.  Be sure you read your labels CAREFULLY!

If you have questions or comments, please feel free to write to me.

Bubble Gum Flavoring

When my daughter came home from the hospital this week, we were given a prescription for oral antibiotics.  I remember getting an eye or ear infection as a kid and getting the ubiquitous bottle of opaque pink Amoxicillin that tasted like Tutti-Fruiti and had to be kept in the refrigerator.  

Honestly, what flavor is Tutti-Fruiti?  I think it was invented when they couldn't find a good single fruit flavoring and dumped all of the flavorings together.  My sister and I used to do something similar with the coke machines at burger joints.  Both are equally as disgusting.  I thought that Tutti-Fruiti was about as terrible as it came.

Then I got the medicine for my daughter.

It's "Bubble Gum" flavored. 

Or, at least, that's what we were told.  It doesn't smell like bubble gum.  It has the same pepto-bismol pink as bubble gum, but it smells VILE.  I mean VILE.  And the smell lingers.  It's like cooking fish- once you cooked it in your house, it SMELLS like fish for days.  

Now, I have cats, as well, so I'm used to tasting a little bit of a medication before I give it to them.  (As an aside, if you've ever tried to give your cats a prescription, you know it's like trying to force feed a Tasmanian devil.  I HIGHLY recommend cream cheese for solids and tuna in OIL for liquids- tuna in water doesn't work because it doesn't smell enough).  ANYWAY, so I taste this viscous sticky goo that I'm supposed to shoot into my daughter's mouth with a syringe.  

_I_ gagged.

How is this supposed to be palatable for children!?  And this was the antibiotic that tasted good.  I hate to think what the others taste like.

But, being a biologist, I knew she had to take it, regardless of the flavor.  And as a Mom, I wasn't surprised when she screamingly blurped out most of what I shot into her mouth.  

At least the pharmacies are smart about this and give you EXTRA.  I guess some incidently loss is expected.

After finally getting the dosage into her, I was thinking- who gives their 10 month old bubble gum?  How is this a good flavor for them?  Why not just "Applesauce" or "Pear"?  Even "Blueberry"?

I was pondering this flavoring choice as I was AGAIN wiping up the rejected, sticky pink goo in my daugher's ear and skin folds.  I had given her a Gerber Melt to help her wash the flavor down.  

And then it hit me.

Why doesn't Gerber help out with the flavorings of some of these medicines?   I think I would pay the premium to have something that actually went down easily.

And then I wondered why the medicines aren't in the freeze-dried little chips like the Gerber Melts.  It seems like my daughter hates the fact that she has no control over what is being squirted into her mouth- even more than the flavor itself.  She wants to control what goes in.

Why hasn't anyone in the food and drug industry thought of this yet?

Something Resembling Red Tape

Evidently there is a flu outbreak in the Twin Cities.  Or as people said to me this past week "It's not flu, it's influenza."

First off, it's the same thing.  For those that think there's a difference...well, they're just so stupid that I don't know what to say.  I just try not to roll my eyes right at them.

Second of all, it's winter.  There's a flu outbreak EVERY winter.  It's because people are trapped inside with recirculated air.  People travel to see others that they don't usually see- it all is a germ smorgasbord.

Ok, but let's say that, "oh my god, there's a communicable virus on the loose!"  What should you DO!?

Obviously, avoid sick people.  But should you not be able to do that, wash your hands after you touch anything and before you touch your face or your belongings.  This REALLY cuts down on the spread of viruses.

But, wait, what about hand sanitizer?

It's a nice attempt at keeping your hands clean.  It's what you should use if you don't have soap and water handy.  You actually wash away 50% of the germs on your hands, just by rubbing them in the water; soap gets you the other 49% (well, up to).  It's quite sad that doctors are now only using hand sanitizer because it doesn't stop everything.  Hand sanitizers are usually alcohol-based, which means that you're just rubbing your hands with expensively perfumed isopropyl- that's the cheap rubbing alcohol.  Soap and water wash away everything; hand sanitizers only work on LIVING bugs...you're still at risk for viruses.

So, you can either go with the expensively perfumed rubbing alcohol or the free soap and water in the bathroom.

Kleenex- make sure you have some at work.  Don't just wipe your nose on your hand like a 5 year old.  Oh, you think I'm kidding!?  Sadly, no.  Working in the IT world is like working with a bunch of kindergardeners with expensive toys.

And glasses- I honestly have always thought that people that wear glasses get less germs.  I don't know that there has been a study on this, but it seems that providing a physical barrier between your eyes and the germs at large is a good idea.  Accordingly, those of you who wear contacts...well, it seems like you're just rolling out the welcome mat.  You see, the eyes are the only facial opening that doesn't have some sort of tonsil (aka lymph node) to help protect the body from invaders.  The nose and mouth have tonsils; the ears have the the tympanic membrane (aka ear drum)- the eyes alone are unprotected.

But, I digress.  I was tell you about the marvelous protective procedures from the Children's hospital.  So, they have this policy about visitors to the hospital.  You have to go to the front desk and they "screen" you.  When I saw this written, I thought it was going to be a doctor sitting down there with a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff.

But, no.

It's the part-time volunteer at the front desk asking if you have a cough, a fever, or just don't feel well.

Some screening.

Then, if you answer No to these questions (regardless of how you actually ARE feeling), you get a little name sticker with your picture on it and the date.  You get a green sticker if you say you're healthy, a yellow sticker if you say you feel a little ill, and a red sticker if you say you're sick.

Mind you, this is all self-reporting.

Well, if you're there multiple days in a row, you're supposed to go down and get a new sticker. But they can't tell until they get close enough to you to read the date because there aren't any other visual indicators that the badge is old.

They don't have a different layout each day (like picture on the left/picture on the right)

They don't have a different print color.

They don't even have the day of the week.

And then there's the picture.  With my hair back in a pony tail, the picture I took could be anyone- male or female, of any age BECAUSE IT'S SO WASHED OUT, YOU CAN BARELY MAKE OUT THE FACE!

It just seems like it's more public brainwashing like the TSA security measures that have no real security in them AT ALL.  They do not protect you from dangerous things on airplanes- they're just as worth while as this sorry excuse for germ security.

So, I guess my message is this:  don't be fooled by other people's germ security or a little sticker saying they're well.  Take care of yourself this season.  It's all up to you.

Breastfeeding Beyond 6 Months

So, this is something I didn't know anything about.  I thought that if I could make it breastfeeding to 6 months, I was doing great.

It's now month 11 and I'm still working at it.

And it's WORK.

But I still am able to get some milk out, which is good.  I found out from a lactation consultant, after I stopped being able to pump out 2 oz/60+ mls out of every breast every 2 hours, that my milk production would naturally decrease after 6 months.  It's just part of the whole process.  I was really freaked out about it.  It's something that only I can give my daughter and it's something that I find is so important to me- well, I just never would have guessed I would feel that way about squirting milk out of my boobs.

So, there were some things that I have done that really have helped me continue to breastfeed.

1. Fenugreek.  It's an herb. You can get it anywhere.  You take a couple capsules throughout the day and it helps your body convert food into milk.


2. Pump every 2-3 hours, even at night.  I hear this so often, "oh, it's ok if you just let yourself sleep and skip pumpings/feedings."  These are the same women that don't make it past 8 months because their milk dries up.  Go figure.  If you want to continue to breastfeed, keep up the pumpings.


3. If you bottle feed and breastfeed, use the smallest nipple size forever.  I did this because I couldn't breastfeed at work, but wanted to as soon as I got home.  We use the Dr. Brown's bottles, which are great.  But if you follow the nipple size instructions, the baby's pull gets weak, which means that they won't pull as much milk out of you ever time, thereby decreasing the volume you make..that's if they will take the breast at all after getting a fast flow nipple.  We started with the P size nipple.  When we increased to the Size 1 nipple because the instructions told us it was time, the baby stopped breastfeeding and did a lot of choking.  She also sucked down the milk in the bottle REALLY fast, but was still hungry.  This is because she was eating too fast.  When we went back to the P size nipple, she stopped choking and spitting up and she went back to breastfeeding.  

She's 10 months and she's doing fine with the P size nipple.  When she wants it out fast, she gets it out fast.  She's completely in the middle of the age/weight chart, so she's doing fine. 


4. Make sure you eat enough.  I just naturally found myself reverting to my old diet as I got more active.  However, that wasn't enough calories to keep me going and make milk or her.  As soon as I started to eat more, my milk came back.


5. Make sure you drink LOTS of water.  I mean a LOT.  I have a 32oz water bottle and I drink at least 1/2 of it after every daily feeding and a full bottle at least after every evening feeding.  A good rule of thumb for whether or not you're drinking enough is: if you don't have to pee, you didn't drink enough.  You should have to pee every hour to two hours.


6. I found that even with all of this, my milk still wasn't letting down very well after month 8.  I found that Acupuncture really helped.  She prescribed Plum Flower's Free and Easy Wanderer to help with the milk let down.  (NOTE the word PRESCRIBED- be smart about what you put in your body).


7. Finally, stay away from any caffeine or alcohol.  They are diuretics and decrease your milk production besides.

Best of luck to you!

When You Know It's Time to Change Jobs

Yes, I'm getting a lot of, uh, SUBLIMINAL messages about some things that need to change in my life right now.  One of them, as we already knew, is that I need to change my job.  But what really got me was this:

I was on the phone with the HR recruiter for the company that I work for, the company that I joined because it was supposedly so family-centric, and I told her about having my baby in at the hospital, that we would be here for a week, ...she actually asked me this:

"So, do you think you'd be able to go to an interview in a day or so?"

yeah, she actually asked me to leave my sick INFANT that just had surgery to go to an interview that my chances of getting are slim to none because I don't have the required experience.

Can you believe it?

The best part is that the same woman called again, and AGAIN asked me to go on an interview this week- in person.

It's like it just doesn't sink in.

I am curious- if you feel like sharing- what is the most outrageous thing your company has ever asked of you?  This seemed to be right up there with, "Are you retarded?"

You Know You Need a New Doctor When...

So, we've had a bit of a busy time.

We got to take our daughter into the hospital an infection that wasn't an emergency when we went to the doctor, but it became an emergency because the doctor sent us to the wrong place.  I think that it's probably time to get a new doctor when:

1. Your doctor doesn't know how to get the correct referral.
2. Your doctor doesn't know that a child can only be seen at a Children's hospital in Minnesota.
3. Your doctor doesn't say she doesn't know.
4. Your doctor feels that excessive drooling is a differential/unique symptom to a problem in a child that's teething.

So, yeah....

We set out in the morning to get our daughter checked out for a small problem, but the doctor dilly dallied about so much that it became an ER visit at the end of the evening.

Needless to say, I have a lot of comments about the failure of the Allina medical system to help us out.  I also have to say that my experience at the ghetto hospital has proven to be everything I expected, with the exception of the fact that there was no room for nursing down in the ER.

THIS IS A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL.

Do you think, maybe, PERHAPS, there might be nursing mothers?!?

Alas, I will have to gather my thoughts on these excessive failures and collect them into something more intelligible.

In the meantime, kiss your kids and be grateful that you don't have to have a baby with an IV.

Butterfly Girl

I'm kind of Victorian in my wall decorations- lots of pictures of different sizes, but completely covering the walls.  It drives my Zen-loving husband a bit bonkers.  No white walls here!

So, when it came to start decorating my daughter's room last year, I had to really think about what to put in there.

Yes, it had to be educational.

Yes, it had to have lots of bright, primary colors.

Yes, it had to have lots of shapes.

And, of course, it had to be fun.

So, what to do?

I started out purchasing the wall-cling alphabet.  It's ok.  It's much smaller than I was really expecting, and has weird things in it like broccoli.  The large letters are also only A-F, and T, and Z.

What kind of alphabet is that??

They also supply these TINY little numbers and mathematical signs.  Like, do you like a baby needs to learn the division sign over the letter M?

But I put them up, anyway.

And it only wrapped 1/2 way around a wall.  So, I went looking for something else.  I found these butterfly wall clings that were absolutely great!  They come in a wide variety of sizes and colors- anywhere from a couple of inches wide to almost 9 inches wide.  I put them put with the alphabet at chair-rail height all along the room.

They're my daughter's favorite!  And despite what "experts" say, she could see them by the time she was a month old.  I had them running right past the changing table and she used to turn her head and reach for them, so I KNEW she saw them.  Now, whenever she's upset, we get to ask her to point to a specific colored butterfly.

And she has her own favorites, too.  Like the medium-sized pink one and she always cracks a grin when she points to.

I realized after looking at them for the past year what a fantastic educational buy they have been.

1. They teach complex patterns to kids (there are pattern books out there that cost $20 for 10 pages that teach that).  
2. They also teach bilateral symmetry (matching sides right and left), which exercises both hemispheres of the brain.  
3. They teach colors.  
4. They teach sizes.
5. And, if you have them pointed in different directions, they can help teach directions, too.

I have to say, for the $12 I spent per sheet, I got a lot of more out of them than the A-F, T, Z alphabet.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

So, I'm busy looking for birthday gifts for my daughter and I come across this toy from One Step Ahead; it's called the Alphaberry.  I thought, wow, that might be good; my daughter is really interested in push buttons right now.  (As a side note, we do NOT let her play with tablets, phones, or computers.)

But I decided to look at the phone closer.  When I zoomed in on the picture, this is what I found:

Do you see anything wrong with this picture?

Hey, UI/Marketing Department, I think that the kid is pressing the "I" button.  Is this truly what happens when you hit the "I" button?  Is says "D"?

Nice move for the specialty educational toy shop.

WHY?

Why, WHY do we need this???
Play ATM



What's sad is that there are two others that I found on Amazon:

ATM 1

ATM 2

Passwords

Over the holidays, every online purchase I made presented me with a customer form.  Every time you start a new job, you need to select log-in credentials.  They all want a unique password.  Some of them will then present you with a list of security questions- supposed reminders to get your password.  Hands down, these are ALWAYS the WORST set of questions imaginable.  Either:


You get a list of questions about what your favorites are (like those don't change??)


OR

You get a list of information that anyone looking in the hall of vital statics could get for free.  In fact, dexonline.com and MyLife.com all list most of this information about a person for free- online.


Some of the worst questions I've seen are things like:


"What High School did you attend?"
"What city were you born in?"
"Use your secure identifier (i.e. your ZIP Code and the last 4 digits of your SSN)"


or the ubiquitous, "What's your mother's maiden name?"


To make matters worse, every site is now merging all of their sign-on security with Facebook, LinkedIn, or Gmail. 


Yes, it's more convenient. 


No, you don't have to remember more than one password.  (Not that it usually matters because most of us only use a handful of passwords for everything).


But, seriously:  how much information do you want accessible with one hacked password?  


Experts say the best security has three parts:  something you have, something you are, and something you know.  Something you have might be a keycard or a fob of some sort.  It is a complete random assignment to you as a person.  Something you are would be a fingerprint or retinal scan- it is unique to YOU.  And something you know would be your password.   Now, Windows has come out with a picture-based password system.  If you haven't seen the TV ads for this yet, it works like this:


You pick a picture.
You outline or draw on it with your finger.


That outline is now your sign-in password.


It seems like something rather novel and cool, but I realized that it really isn't for two reasons:
1. I am one of those people that can't use touch screens.  I haven't seen a good explanation of why this is, but the supposition in the world is either that there is too much moisture on the tips of my fingers or that I produce an electrical current that interferes with the screen's software.  Since I drain watch batteries in a matter of weeks, I am inclined to go with the latter.  Either way, drawing on a screen with my finger seems like a crummy idea.


2. If you're sitting in a room full of people, it is MUCH easier to watch the large drawing motions on a screen and memorize them quickly than it is to memorize a difficult to see, typed password.  People memorize things in pictures, so it seems only natural that cracking passwords by watching people with this new picture password would be very easy.


I recently purchased a new laptop with a fingerprint scanner and I find that, not only is it very convenient to swipe my finger to log in, it is also much more secure in a room full of people.  There isn't anyone who can guess your fingerprint from watching you type.  It makes me wonder, though, why more websites aren't incorporating this type of security measure as an additional option to your account.


So, while we all wait the retina scanner for our online bank account access, I recommend reviewing your passwords and changing them - at least once a year.  Research by Graham Cluley has shown that using an abbreviated statement instead of a word; something like "NYR#3_ChPwd".  


Just make sure it's something you can remember….without the Post-It note stuck to the side of your computer screen.

I Know Where You've Been

So, it's January.  It's the month when my auto insurance re-ups for the next 6 months and I always go through it line-by-line.  This year, I found that there were some extra discounts that we were not getting for good driving and being accident free.  When I followed up with my agent, he let me know that those discounts were only available through the In-Drive Plan with State Farm.

So, I checked it out.

Wow, talk about scary!

They have a little device that they plug into your car that keeps track of everywhere you've been, how fast you went, if you came to a complete stop at every stop sign...and on and on.

Talk about scary!

I guess Progressive has a similar device and discount plan.

I honestly don't know who would want to have this device- no matter what the discount!  Think of all the places you go when you say you're going somewhere else.  Now, there's be a written record of every stop.

At least it's not mandatory- yet.

Leap Frog Makes Another Useless Toy

I thought I might get back to something more useful today- a review of another baby toy.  

So, the item on the chopping block today is The Leap Frog My Discovery House.

This has been the second biggest toy disappointments yet.  The first being the Fisher Price Laugh and Learn House.  The Leap Frog house is about 12 inches high and about 8 inches wide and deep.  I thought it would be perfect for carrying around from room to room because it's small and it has all the activities.  I knew that my daughter, then 6 months, was rather precocious so I thought this would be a great learning toy.

Well-

There are activities on it, but it would take an adult to figure out what to do.  For example:

1.  The front of the house has a white light shown in the picture.  The light switch for this light is on a different side of the house!  How is that a good idea?  

2.  The light switch itself is smaller than a standard house light switch and proportionally more difficult to move up and down.  How is a child who is just learning fine motor control of their hands supposed to move that switch?  The Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Kitchen, on the other hand, has a HUGE, flat, age appropriate switch that teaches the kid to operate it.

3. The birds on top move up and down, but you have to push really hard on a piece of plastic that's only an 1/8" thick to make that happen.  They only chirp.  "Tweet, Tweet, Tweet, Tweet".  That's it.

4.  When you manage to pry the front door open, you see a mirror.  Very cute, but you have to really PRY it open to get at it.  Then it won't close easily.

5.  The side with the light switch also has a little lamp and a book.  They both look like you should be able to interact with them, but only the book does anything when you press it.  You have to move that ridiculously small light switch to make the light go on and off.

6.  When you do press the tiny book, there is an excerpt of some short story that is read aloud.  The words are multi-syllabic and read WAY to fast to understand.  I had to press it several time to understand the whole thing and I'm an auditory learner!

7.  The door bell on the front of the house works.  It makes the ding-dong sound.  Then a difficult to understand child voice has a dialog about who's at the front door.  The answers are:

1. A Fireman (ok, that's age appropriate, but you can't SEE the fireman so how does that help your kid?)
2. An Astronaut (whoa, really?)
3. The Dogwalker (again, this child is just learning what a DOG is much less the activity and career of dogwalking)

8.  The other side of the house has a refrigerator door that opens and a couple of shelves that you can slide some blocks around inside.  The audio track that is tripped doesn't match up with the blocks that you just slid around; when you slide the block away to reveal the carrots, it says something about milk, and so on.

9.  On the backside of the house is a rubber duck button and a faucet screw knob.  They pretty much do only two sounds, no matter what daytime setting you have selected.  (squeak, squeak)

10.  My final comment on this lousy toy is that the sound is WAY too loud on the quiet setting.  I would say that this is a general gripe about most children's toys nowadays- everything is so LOUD!  If the toy must make a noise, does everyone in the house need to hear it?  That's not good for the baby's ears!  I haven't done a decibel reading on this, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's louder than I play the stereo in my car.

I would have to wonder why they thought that this toy was for anyone under the age of 3.  In my experience as an educator, I would say that the content and activities are more appropriate for the 3-6 year old, but then it's too simplistic a toy for that age.

Definitely don't waste your money.

Feast or Famine

Well, this is a quick one today.

Awhile ago, I took a job with a company that promised many things.  Today, I got the word that, because their finances are depressed (and let me tell you so, was I!), I am on the chopping block come the end of January.

Now, this comes as a major upset because I took the job because they promised to have a job for me in feast or famine times- that I would be paid no matter what was happening with the client list.  I took a nearly 50% cut in pay for this insurance.

Today I get told that the company is foregoing this policy and, to boot, I will be getting the boot at the end of January unless something miraculous happens.

I'm exceptionally upset about this news because the boss laid the whole matter on my shoulders- like there was something I was supposed do about clients, which isn't part of my job.  I'm  the commodity that's traded as a consultant, not the sales!  And despite having a senior team of sales people who have been in the business longer than I, I am the one who has been doing most of the sales legwork.

It's just a moment to vent, but it really is quite ridiculous.  I think IT is the only industry where the commodities are supposed to be in sales, too.  You never hear of a racehorse contacting the newspapers for publicity or negotiating the breeding rights.  It's because the racehorse IS the commodity.

Just ridiculous.

And depressing.  So much for the famine safety net.

Cough, Cough

A couple of years ago when I was working for a German company, I was given a bag of Kruegerol Halsbonbons for my cough.  (Halsbonbons are throat drops).  I was skeptical.  I don't like taking cough drops because they're pretty much just candy and they give your mouth that strange, I've-been-sucking-on-hard-candy-all-day dry feeling.  But, I decided to try them, anyway.

Wow.

That's what a cough drop should be.  It's like what Halls menthol drops spend their lives dreaming of being.

The menthol was actually clearing.

It didn't taste mediciney at all.

It didn't smell like medicine at all.

It actually soothed my throat for a LONG time after I had finished it, rather than only being good for as long as it was in my mouth.

My husband and I sparingly used the little gold charms to spread them out as much as we could, but eventually, they ran out.

Ever since then, I've been looking for their equal and have been disappointed.  Then it dawned on me (wait, I know) it's the 21st century and I just might be able to find them online.

And I did.

In Germany.  Most of the apothecaries carry them and you can get them without a prescription...and they were cheap!  It was only 59 cents Euro for the bag.  In my excitement, I added 20 bags to my cart and went to checkout.

Now, I'm glad that I speak German (somewhat) and read it and that I've purchased a fair number of things online, so I'm familiar with the online purchasing forms.  As I slowly filled out each of the fields, I got more excited about the surprise for my husband.

Then I got to the Address fields, I was glad that "Country" was one of them.  As I pulled down the menu, I was utterly crushed.

Their idea of "Country" was any country in a list of Germany and Austria. :(

So, I sadly closed the window and started my search again...this time, making sure that I didn't fill out the entire form before checking the Country field options.  To my great disappointment, I could not find any of the online stores that shipped to the US.  The best I could find was a store that would ship to continental Europe and Ireland (hmm, not England, though).

I thought, "That's that".

Then, last week, I decided to look again- you never know, you might find a different store or they might have changed their minds and decided to recognize the US as a valid shipping destination.  As I sadly clicked through the online forms, it dawned on me that I might be able to just email one of these companies and get them to send it to me!

Excited, I scanned through the website I was at for a customer service email.  Finding one, I proudly wrote a nice little email asking if I could please purchase some Kruegerol and have it shipped to the US.

Then, the email bounced back to me.

Well, it had been worth a shot.

You can imagine my glee, then, when I got a reply from the shop!  And not only could I understand the email, I was overjoyed to see that they WOULD ship to the US.

Excitedly, I replied with my answer of which flavor I would like and my address and can you please tell me how much the total price will be. After waiting all day for an answer because of the difference in time zones, I woke up to an email telling me that it would be 11,80 Euro for the product (sounds good)...and 42,95 Euro for shipping.

Sob.

With the exchange rate, that makes those magical little cough drops nearly $100.

So, I ask you all to help me find a place that sells Kruegerol in the US.

(And, yes, I tried contacting Kruegerol via Facebook, but haven't heard back.  Perhaps they use Facebook as much as I do.)

Big Brother Is Watching

I recently have been working on a website for the company as a content writer.  It's fallen to me because the people who should be writing it have no item, or are just simply not interested in writing the content.  Either way, it's been this prompt for me to do it.

So, after months of working on the content, I get a message from the Social Media Manager that now, the boss wants to approve all of it before it goes live on the website.

Now, this owner doesn't have enough time to write the content in the first place, so I honestly wonder how s/he's going to have time to read and approve all the content going forward, including blog content (yes, the company has a blog...it's about company things...I guess- the blog isn't live yet so it's still up in the air).

But it does just kind of figure that whatever you do - either productive or not- it always gets overridden by someone higher up the food chain.  It is for this very reason that I don't understand why my presence in ever required in an office.  Decisions are NEVER made at my level- ever.  No matter who is in the room.  No matter what is ever said.  It's always made by someone in their shower or over their own cup of coffee with their spouse- never in the office.  Ever.

From my point of view, it seems what my real job is just to occupy a chair and basically be "on-call" for the entertainment of those who pay me.  

It seems a bit cynical.

It seems a bit depressing.

But since it doesn't matter what I do on a daily basis at work and I find it difficult to be positive.  

My father-in-law was actually telling me that IT is the most thankless job in the world because you don't get to see what you build.  I guess it was a study done by someone, somewhere.  Those of us that work in IT have the highest reported levels of stress, heart attacks, and other stress-related problems.  

What is the best job according to this study?

Construction.

I kid you not.  It's because the project has a definite start and end; it has an obvious structure that's built- something that actually will matter in a couple of years to someone.

 I don't know if that's completely true.  I couldn't find any study listed online that reflected those facts.  The study that I found said that the most stress job in 2012 was being a working parent- THAT I believe.

Besides, I don't think I can advocate for going into construction- I just don't have the plumber's butt for the job.  But I would love to be in a job that I could actually have a sense of accomplishment at some point, instead of the on-going drone of project-to-project noise where nothing ever really happens and no decisions are made.

...except the decision to continue to have meetings about making decisions.

One Sock or Two?

So, I went on a wild ride to the local mall today with my daughter for a combination of a gift returns and to get milk.  (As a side note here, I find it very, very strange that Target sells milk for less than any of the three grocery stores in the city.)

My daughter is currently at an age where she doesn't like riding in the stroller anymore.  She used to love it!  Now, she just cries big crocodile tears every time we put her in it.  So, I decided to sacrifice my back for the little trip today and use the bjorn for carrying her around the mall.

Now, she's in the middle percentiles for her age- about 20lbs- but her strapped to your front, plus the diaper bag, plus the large jacket you're carrying, plus the gift returns...it's a lot of weight.  And then there's the wait (ha ha).  You walk all over the malls, just to get into some sort of crummy queue where get to watch two people standing behind the service desk chatting away.  Don't they see that there's a line?

Anyway, after a couple of stops and struggling to continue to balance it all, I make it in and out of Target with relative ease....only to be walking back to the car when a group of women stopped me to telling me that she had lost a sock- and that she was about to lose the other one.

Now, I'd been huffing and puffing by this point.  I was carrying roughly 35 extra pounds of weight for over an hour, tromping around the mall.

I was hot.

I was tired.

My back really hurt.

But I turned around and tried to retrace my steps at Target.  I thought I had made in there there with two socks, but I could have been wrong.  But after what seemed like an hour of searching (and it was probably 5 minutes), I decided that I just couldn't last anymore and dragged the whole caravan out to the car- trying desperately to keep my daughters feet covered up in the 20*F weather until I could get her to the car and a blanket.

And despite it being a commonly lost article of clothing- right up there with gloves that I like to shed like bird molts- I have been aggravated all day by the loss of that sock.  I even called the store, hoping that someone had found it.  It just figures that it was brand, brand new and not one of the cheapy socks.

I guess that teaches me to only buy the cheapy ones, because unlike the solution to my glove distribution habit, I can't have my daughter go without socks.

But the bigger thing that really bugged me is that it was only one sock.  What was it about losing one sock and not both of them like I almost did that bothered me so much?  Would I have actually felt better if she had lost the both of them?

I think, in a very strange way, I would have.  There's something about having that single sock go through the wash and have no one to ball up with when it comes time to fold it.  And then surprise you every day when you open the sock drawer you see that lone sock staring up at you as if to blame you for orphaning it.  If you lost them both, you wouldn't have that solo sock or its guilt trip.

So, now, I'm off to do the laundry.  Perhaps the sock-eating monster in the laundry will make this easy on me and finish the pair off.

Nature

A few years ago, I started developing allergies.  I never really had them growing up except to a few antibiotics.  I suppose this is from a lack of dirt eating as a child; my great grandmother used to say that you're supposed to eat a quart of dirt a day...to which her daughter promptly got a spoon and a mason jar and went to work.  I would hate to have cleaned up that diaper- erwh!

But I think what she really meant was that you need to get dirty and get out into nature more.  This I completely agree with: I HATED nature as a child.  My mother used to be constantly telling me, "Go outside and enjoy the day!"

ugh

I remember I used to not have a problem with dirt and bugs- I used to make walnut paste by smashing the ubiquitous walnuts against the granite boulder at the Y where I grew up and eat all of the paste between meals.  That definitely counted toward some serious dirt eating.  But that all stopped when, one day I was sneaking a few walnuts from the tree at our house between meals.  I cracked it open and there was a disgusting worm inside, wriggling around at being disturbed.

...and that was the last time I ever ate a raw walnut from the ground.

Of course, there happened to be a moth infestation in my play kitchenette at the same time that might have impacted my desire to play in the dirt.  And a slug infestation in the garden patio next to my parent's room (I remember looking at the carpet with all the silvery slime trails running across it).  

Regardless, I find it ironic that I'm a big of a clay sculptor.  All that mud.

And I don't mind it at all.

Duck, Duck

It's a very strange winter this year in Minnesota- temperatures all over the place are confusing everyone.  I actually heard a flock of geese overhead during the past week.  Generally, they fly south in the fall and don't return until March.

Until I moved to Minnesota, I had only seen a Canadian Goose mounted on the wall of my GATE class; all the wild geese in California are white.  Sure, there are the white kinds with the   little noses and there are the geese with the big noses on their bills.  But either way, they were white.

When we first arrived in Minnesota, my mother, sister, and I went to a park for a picnic while my dad was at work.  We saw some real life Canadian Geese.  Now, like most Californians, we thought of geese as quite exotic creatures and had the rather strong motivation to feed the geese.  Of course, it's traditional to honk at the geese as you attempt to give them the stale bread in your hands.  We were shocked that they weren't mobbing us for the bread and we had to chase after them, so we needed to honk a little louder.  Then I realized the problem:

they were CANADIAN Geese!

to which my mother then looked at me and then said, "Honk, A", "Honk, A".

I'm ashamed to say that it actually got their attention.

But I guess they do have some white geese here, too, though they're not as common.  I guess this is the reason why the teachers in Minnesota decided to be "special" and change "Duck, Duck, Goose" to "Duck, Duck, Gray Duck".  (yes, it's "gray"- that's the color; "grey" is a familial name)

My husband and I are having this conversation on an on-going basis because my daughter WILL learn Duck, Duck, Goose, though he's in denial.  She will also learn about the mushpot, which I guess they didn't have here.  There seems to be no penalty at all for getting caught during Duck, Duck, Gray Duck.

Getting the Car Serviced

Recently, I had to take my car into be serviced.  It was a wonderful early Christmas present: turn on the engine and the check engine light comes on; there's a strong smell of rich, burning gasoline, and a rough idle.   It reminded me a lot of what happens every spring with the motorcycle when the carburetor jets are clogged with last year's street sediment.  So, I knew that it was truly something wrong.

I also knew that there wasn't a dealership anywhere close by that I would trust to fix my subcompact Korean car.  Yup, I'm one of those.  It's a great car for me running around town, but I'm reminded how small it is every time my husband sits in the passenger seat and ends up chewing on his knees.  And I'm reminded how light weight it is every time it snows (wee... toboggan ride!)

Anyway, the two closest dealerships had proven unreliable:  the closest in Bloomington has a history of putting nails in people's cars and other sabotage to up-sell you on fixes you don't need.  That happened to my friends twice there, as well.  Then there's the dealership up on 394, but they were too dumb to be able to change a fuse in the 12V port that was blown...and during their investigations got grease all over the fabric on the interior.

So, where to go?

I decided to take a chance with a Ford dealership nearby.  I called and asked if they serviced my Korean car brand- they did.  They got me in quickly and their service area is fairly new.  All good things.

The shock was me walking into the Service Wait area.  It was like walking into a Ford commercial.  You know the one about being one of those rough and tumble kind of guys with big wheels and dirty cars?  They were all middle-aged men, over weight, chewing gum like it was cow cud, and wearing beer caps.  They all had some sort of jacket vest on.  All had blue jeans.  I saw two soccer moms in the corner- incredibly frumpy and most probably the owners of the two mini-vans I saw in the shop.  All looked at the blonde with her knitting and her tiny Asian subcompact among the mountains of gas-guzzling Ford hemis.

I think my IQ dropped about 20 points just walking in the door.

Let's say I was _slightly_ intimidated.  SLIGHTLY.  But, being the brave soul that I am, I sat down and took my knitting out and began my wait.

The sideways glances I got were...memorable.

I got up to get myself a cup of tea; being a breastfeeding mom, caffeine is still on the no-no list, so I'm used to drinking tea.

There wasn't any tea.

The choices were coffee and Pepsi products.  I found this to be such a striking indication of where I was that I almost laughed.  The Korean dealerships all have tea.  It's not fancy tea- it's usually gag-you-in-the-throat Lipton, but there's tea.  Ford people don't drink tea, I guess. I could just imagine these big guys sipping out of a delicate tea cup with their pinkies out.

Yeah right

Luckly, I was saved by my mother picking me up.

Now, just to be fair to Ford owners- this is just my experience at THIS dealership in semi-rural Minnesota.  You might own a Mustang and like your hair on fire.  I don't know.  I do know that the same clientele was present all three times I went to the dealership that day.

Regardless of my time warping experience into the stereotypes of Ford owners, I do have to say that there weren't greasy finger prints all over the car and that there weren't extra charges rung up, or other problems "found" with my car that day.

But I know I'll never own a Ford.

Children's Songs

Barney really didn't help preserve the songs of our childhood.  My daughter got this Barney piano book from our friends and I was shocked at what I found.  Not only does the book require 3 hearing aid batteries ($5 a pop), but that purple marshmallow gave a rather PC wash to most of the songs that I knew from my childhood.  One of them:  Ring a Round the Rosie.

The real version:
Ring a round the rosie
Pocket full of posies
Ashes, ashes
We all fall down.

Yeah, it's grim.  It's supposed to have been a comfort song for children during the years of the Black Plague in Europe.  It's supposed to be grim.

Barney's version:
Ring a round the rosie
Pocket full of posies
Atishoo, atishoo
We all fall down!

So...now it's a song about allergies, I guess.

And then there's To Market (I'm sure you all remember the song from the original Miracle on 34th Street):

To market, to market
To buy a fat pig
Home again, home again
Jigga ji jig

Barney:
To market, to market
To buy a plum cake
Home again, home again
Market is late


What???

It's completely different!

And then there's the reversal of the Ants Go Marching.  It's supposed to be a count down starting with 10 by 10; with every verse, "The Little One Stops" to do something...that would be, wait- subtracting one from the total number...wow, so starting with 10x10, it would be 9x9!

Math is so amazing!

I honestly never watched Barney, so I don't know how many other songs he "altered".  I wasn't exactly in the age bracket during his broadcasts, but, like everyone else, I was VERY AWARE of how much that purple marshmallow and friends loved us.

I'm wondering what he would have done with "London Bridge"...it's supposed to fall down, afterall....